Klass99:
When I first felt the desire to be child free and not have children I was in my 20s. Several people told me the feeling would change or I would change my mind as time goes by.

As the years went by my desire didn't wane neither did my mind change. The desire only grew stronger and my mind more convinced that motherhood is not for me.

I have no regrets so far and right now I honestly can't see myself regretting the choice. Home ownership and companionship with a good man, matter to me more than biological children do.

LordIsaac:

John 3:16. You have been told!

4 The Israelites left Mount Hor and traveled on the road that goes to the Red Sea. They did this to go around the country of Edom. But the people became impatient.
5 They began complaining against God and Moses. The people said, “Why did you bring us out of Egypt? We will die here in the desert! There is no bread and no water! And we hate this terrible food!”
6 So the Lord sent poisonous snakes among the people. The snakes bit the people, and many of the Israelites died.
7 The people came to Moses and said, “We know that we sinned when we spoke against the Lord and against you. Pray to the Lord. Ask him to take away these snakes.” So Moses prayed for them.
8 The Lord said to Moses, “Make a bronze snake and put it on a pole. If anyone is bitten by a snake, that person should look at the bronze snake on the pole. Then that person will not die.”
9 So Moses made a bronze snake and put it on a pole. Then when a snake bit anyone, that person looked at the bronze snake on the pole and lived. - Numbers 21 vs 4 - 9

14 “Moses lifted up the snake in the desert. It is the same with the Son of Man. He must be lifted too.
15 Then everyone who believes in him can have eternal life.”
16 Yes, God loved the world so much that he gave his only Son so that everyone who believes in him would not be lost but have eternal life.
17 God sent his Son into the world. He did not send him to judge the world guilty but to save the world through him. - John 3 vs 14-16

Bullfallo:
Not wanting to have a child isn’t a choice per say. I hate to put myself into pressure or do things just because others are doing it, my lifestyle has always be different from public opinion. In fact opposite of the popular views or majority behavior. I don’t send or give a Bleep what anyone think about me.

Example is that people live there live on public opinion. They create a life of public presentations just to please public and get validated but i am not of public views. I do my things the way it pleases before considering public.

If I have billions of dollars like dangote the choice might have been different. I don’t live a life of faith. I must have concrate evidence of things or resources before i made any vita decisions. I hate to borrow or beg. I live a life of comfort. I am rich and comfortable but not for many mouths. Because I don’t want to adjust resources from my lifestyle

Bullfallo:
Not wanting to have a child isn’t a choice per say. I hate to put myself into pressure or do things just because others are doing it, my lifestyle has always be different from public opinion. In fact opposite of the popular views or majority behavior. I don’t send or give a Bleep what anyone think about me.

Example is that people live there live on public opinion. They create a life of public presentations just to please public and get validated but i am not of public views. I do my things the way it pleases before considering public.

If I have billions of dollars like dangote the choice might have been different. I don’t live a life of faith. I must have concrate evidence of things or resources before i made any vita decisions. I hate to borrow or beg. I live a life of comfort. I am rich and comfortable but not for many mouths. Because I don’t want to adjust resources from my lifestyle

Shaddymie:
Honestly, time will tell, I've been married for more than a decade and yet to have a child, I tried everything humanly but all to no avail, I still trust God, he'll answer me one day.
See it has not been easy, aside seeing my mates and people around me have children and I don't have, it's really getting to me that, I don't have anyone to talk to or send an errand, if I don't get it my husband will and at times I'll have to go far.
What I'm saying is, not only pressure from people will make you feel you don't have but, the boredom and not having yours to send on an errand at due time, because people will make you feel you don't have a child. Not trying to convince you, it's your choice, it is well with any decisions you choos.

CoronaVirusPro:
The future will educate you better. I don’t think anyone can educate you about that.

If you really want to have a glimpse of what it looks like, check all those class of people that said same in their youthful ages, reality humbled them in their old age and started having kids at the dying hour.

Reality will “Personally” dawn on you. How you accept it, will determine your mental state and response.

Just be patient. 20 years from now will tell a lot.

Kingpele:
Your reasons are selfish...your parents wasn't a billionaire before they decided to bring u into this world...running away from responsibility is the height of cowardice...getting married and rising kids is what makes u a real man except u want to become a rev fr ...I feel so happy just looking at my 5 kids and lemme the truth I started making real Money when children started coming because I had to double my hustle so as to be able to take care of my responsibilities and still enjoy my life...today am richer than when I was alone ...moreover my wife is doing business and she contribute to some extent...

YelloweWest:
You will totally regret it. There's absolutely nothing as rewarding than having a child.

At some point your wealth will become meaningless.

tochez24:



Fact my brother💯

It will dawn on him at old age, he will see shege😆😆

Klass99:


My sympathies for what you are going through but I can not relate because unlike you I don't desire or want to have children but you do. I pray the good Lord grants you your heart's desire.

Your reasons for wanting a child/children leaves me perplexed and again I can not relate because there are too many good people on earth I can interact with, too many novels to read, movies to watch, exercises to do and activities to engage in, for me to bored from the absence of a child.

I also can not relate to wanting a child so I can send them on errands. I genuinely like doing things by myself and for myself it is how I stay active and avoid being lazy.

Time will tell indeed and guess what time has told me? That I was right to become self aware, enough to know that I don't want kids, independent minded and critical in my thinking to know that I don't have to follow the crowd and do what others are doing, if it is not what I want.

Klass99:
When I first felt the desire to be child free and not have children I was in my 20s. Several people told me the feeling would change or I would change my mind as time goes by.

As the years went by my desire didn't wane neither did my mind change. The desire only grew stronger and my mind more convinced that motherhood is not for me.

I have no regrets so far and right now I honestly can't see myself regretting the choice. Home ownership and companionship with a good man, matter to me more than biological children do.

Joemavel:

You see conditional love, that's what you get from every corner you turn in life. Except the one from family, when you grow old and you suddenly realise that no figures of such affectionate love, you'll marvel. Father, mother and kids are the people who mostly gives these but by then when you're all alone, it'll dawn on you

yemmit90:


What if the said good man leaves you at old age? Remember he owe you nothing.

Have you ever been close to old people before? Old age and sickness that is accomplices with it is not a child play at all. At this stage, only your biological children cares, they may not be with you physically but they will be there with you emotionally.

You need to visit some old people before it too late to change your decision.

Villa12:
There are many men and women that had kids but living a life as if they do not have kids, even at old age. Their children are poor, likewise their parents. They literally live from hand to mouth courtsey with the support of well-wishers. Society only address them with the name of their child/ren but there's no positive impact of these children in their lives. This abound in Nigeria today.

Kingpele:
Your reasons are selfish...your parents wasn't a billionaire before they decided to bring u into this world...running away from responsibility is the height of cowardice...getting married and rising kids is what makes u a real man except u want to become a rev fr ...I feel so happy just looking at my 5 kids and lemme the truth I started making real Money when children started coming because I had to double my hustle so as to be able to take care of my responsibilities and still enjoy my life...today am richer than when I was alone ...moreover my wife is doing business and she contribute to some extent...

OpulentP:
If u live long u go regret ur decision, if u did not live long, u no go regret ham

willyblinx:



Selfishness towards who? The children that do not yet exist?

These type of statements are the things that. Put unnecessary pressure on women that are yet to give birth. Having kids should be a choice and not everyone wants to do so.

You are happy just looking at your kids, great I am happy for you. However, we should understand that that’s not what would make others happy. Our desires differs.

Klass99:
When I first felt the desire to be child free and not have children I was in my 20s. Several people told me the feeling would change or I would change my mind as time goes by.

As the years went by my desire didn't wane neither did my mind change. The desire only grew stronger and my mind more convinced that motherhood is not for me.

I have no regrets so far and right now I honestly can't see myself regretting the choice. Home ownership and companionship with a good man, matter to me more than biological children do.

DeepSight:


All of these are still shallow and self-centered reasons to have children.
You guys have it so twisted someone up there even argued that she would have no one to send on errands without children.
How pathetic!

yemmit90:


Like someone said, only the future can teach you a lifetime lesson, no amount of explanation or recommendation can change a mind of someone like you. It is ok not to want children but everything wrong when you talk down on its importance. Ideally, you are calling your parents fools or self- centred for aiding your existence. It is quite logical not to have children if you can't cater for them but don't ever dismiss the important of having them.

Jeezuzpick:

The difference at that time between a couple with no kids and one with kids is that, once in a while, the kids will show up with their own kids and fill the parents' hearts with pride and joy.

A husband may be there now and give all the pleasures and assurances a woman needs, but he will be gone one day, and quite likely at an age when he cannot be replaced.

CoronaVirusPro:
The future will educate you better. I don’t think anyone can educate you about that.

If you really want to have a glimpse of what it looks like, check all those class of people that said same in their youthful ages, reality humbled them in their old age and started having kids at the dying hour.

Reality will “Personally” dawn on you. How you accept it, will determine your mental state and response.

Just be patient. 20 years from now will tell a lot.

Bennycollins:
That is your opinion and the OP said he doesn't live by what others think , say or believe. I even wonder why he is asking advice from same public. 😃😃

DeepSight:


My dear brother, I have never dismissed the importance or significance of kids. What I called pathetic was the reason given by someone on this thread (she said who will she send on errands). That is pathetic.

Please have a peep at this thread to see my thoughts on this matter.

https://www.nairaland.com/3943960/dark-side-parenthood

humilitypays:
Anty kontinu, even Oprah Winfrey regretted it at some point despite being a dollar billionaire at that time.


Make una continue.


Go to old people or war veterans homes and facilities in the US, UK, and Europe that you black Africans are trying to copy, even as they have all their needs met, sometimes those old people go mental and start acting weird that they want to go home to go and see their children or grandkids. A friend once told me of how one old white lady in their facility is always crying that she miss her kids and grandkids, that she wants to go home to be with them.

Make una continue, time will teach us all the hard lessons about life