Abuse is Abuse and should not be condoned no matter the gender but, if we are to compare the two(men/women) to know the most Abusive in marriage we should also consider the two form of Abuse which are VERBAL AND PHYSICAL ABUSE. For me, men are abusive because of the verbal and Physical Abuses they suffer at the hands of their wife's which starts from verbal Abuse which i considered the most dangerous form of Abuse. Am not trying to make case for the men here or defend them because i know that some men has the endurance to walk away from such verbal Abuse but in the other hand some men can't wlk away from it which may lead to physical Abuse for the woman. I know their are no N.G.O that defend the right of men in marriage relationship that why we dont hear the male folks story about Abusive wife's and secondary for the fact that many men nature protect their family by not speaking out but we know that this things happens.

woman are the most Abusive in marriages believe it or not. listen Abuse has different dimension to it, we shld stop pretending like if verbal abuse is not a serious form of Abuse. many men avoid their wives because of the verbal abuse they receive every tym and u know that men hate nagging and shouting all the tym but women will not stop Abusing us verbally. Even if u want come home early she will shout at u n even if u decide to come home late she will wake up the whole street by calling u names.
chucks is a close neighbor and his wife is Abusing him both physical and verbally, the wife is extraordinary lazy but she has a deadly tongue. chucks comes home late because his a bus driver, when ever he closes from wrk late he will come home to do the house chores which include washing the kids clothes e.t.c but u will still hear his wife shouting at him. in the morning hours he will not ask chucks breakfast money when chucks is still inside the house but will come outside when the man is cleaning his car to ask for money and she will not do this meekly but will shout so that the whole street will know that d money chucks gave her is little, she once broke chucks head with a bottle of beer, don't ask me what chucks did afterwards cos chucks is a lovely quite type that does not want any problem.

secondly their is this my street Guy called chiefoo, chiefooo married a chick that is a make up artist that thinks she is a star. she slaps chiefo on the street as if chiefo is a little boi.she has been doing this and getting away with it because the guy does not want to appear as an abusive husband but it got to a point when the street woman started talking, we, even d guy men are not happy about it that we ask him to man up.
The Bubble bust when we re drinking and suddenly we heard a thunderous slap and it is the same woman perfecting her art once again on her husband but this time chiefoo is ready to man up, he beat the hell out of her that day that she need prayers to recover from the beating.

Listen Nairalanders, men re subjected to two type of Abuse which are verbal and physical but, the most painful part of it is the verbal.

DON'T ASK ME Y DON'T U HEAR ABOUT ABUSES THAT MEN SUFFERS FROM, it is because they are men and natural they don't sit and talk about their pains and secondary it is also about the same reason women stays in such marriage which is d CHILDREN.

let me now hear Nairalanders personal story and what they feel about the Topic.

You are spot on!!!

Women are getting more abusive & it is a worrisome trend. That being said, I feel one of the qualities of a man should be self control & his ability to 'tame' his wife. If a man possesses such, I don't see why he should result in physically abusing his wife as a result of her verbal abuse

wife abuse is a function of personality defect, intereact with such women you will find they suffered a form of abuse or abandoment, from parents. this leave them immature.

fasho01: You are spot on!!!

Women are getting more abusive & it is a worrisome trend. That being said, I feel one of the qualities of a man should be self control & his ability to 'tame' his wife. If a man possesses such, I don't see why he should result in physically abusing his wife as a result of her verbal abuse

that also my point which is sef control but, lets be real not every men has that self control. if we re preaching to men to hv self control we shld also tell our women to refine their words because words are deadly weapon if not used well and it hurts the person at the receiving end of it.

switosman: wife abuse is a function of personality defect, intereact with such women you will find they suffered a form of abuse or abandoment, from parents. this leave them immature.

I also agree with but the Topic is just to raise awareness of the Abuse that men also suffer but not promoting one ova the other.

@austino..,pls. do you stay around surulere/aguda area of lagos state ?

switosman: wife abuse is a function of personality defect, intereact with such women you will find they suffered a form of abuse or abandoment, from parents. this leave them immature.

I beg to dissent. A canterkarous and troublesome individual's attitude does not always (emphasis on always) stem from a troubled histoy. In my opinion I've found that most folks that constitute a nuisance in whatever guise are informed by their being just that; indisciplined people who prey on the goodwill and long suffering of others.

While I acquiesce to the face that an abusive childhood and/or 'debilitating' environment play a huge role in this development, I've also come to understand that it's basic human nature to pass the buck and play the victim even though one is the aggressor. This in my opinion is what obtains in this issue.

henrimoto: @austino..,pls. do you stay around surulere/aguda area of lagos state ?

No, i stay In Enugu state

4C2215131:

I beg to dissent. A canterkarous and troublesome individual's attitude does not always (emphasis on always) stem from a troubled histoy. In my opinion I've found that most folks that constitute a nuisance in whatever guise are informed by their being just that; indisciplined people who prey on the goodwill and long suffering of others.

While I acquiesce to the face that an abusive childhood and/or 'debilitating' environment play a huge role in this development, I've also come to understand that it's basic human nature to pass the buck and play the victim even though one is the aggressor. This in my opinion is what obtains in this issue.

actually my position is not all encompassing, that one had such a past does not mean we should condole abuse from wives. I found out that these women do not even know they have a problem and so will not seek solution.
the other type have weak personality and will take all sort of wrong advise from evil people, coupled with female insecurity they will act out thier fear.
on my part, I married an abusive woman and I am managing to maintain peace. I set up boundaries and insist on them.

o42austino: I also agree with but the Topic is just to raise awareness of the Abuse that men also suffer but not promoting one ova the other.

I think your main purpose is to find solution or at least, to properly manage situation with our women. when I talk its from expereince, men should understand this abusive phenomenon and do the right thing. women caught in this web do not know their character is a pychological problem and so will not seek help.

Another problem, is when men lash back on them , they are termed beast.

this is one main reason why a lot of gentle and quiet husbands die before their time these days.it is either high BP., fustration or what have you. i know a lot of married men that are not happy to come back home after the day's work. immidiately they are @ the entrance of street to their house, saddness,fear and anxiety come upon their heart. husbands that are vocal are being made to forcely bring out the violent part of them..... why? just because of this terrible abusive nature of some women. king solomon of blessed memories, did nt liar when he said "it is better for a man to leave on top of the roof of a house than to leave in the same house with a nagging wowan. (little did we know that he was talking from experience) a lot of men think of committing suicide,why ? because of the way their wives talk to them (take note: these type of men are the gentle and easy- going types. the vocal onces do go violent,just to fight back the pain and suppression.)

henrimoto: this is one main reason why a lot of gentle and quiet husbands die before their time these days.it is either high BP., fustration or what have you. i know a lot of married men that are not happy to come back home after the day's work. immidiately they are @ the entrance of street to their house, saddness,fear and anxiety come upon their heart. husbands that are vocal are being made to forcely bring out the violent part of them..... why? just because of this terrible abusive nature of some women. king solomon of blessed memories, did nt liar when he said "it is better for a man to leave on top of the roof of a house than to leave in the same house with a nagging wowan. (little did we know that he was talking from experience) a lot of men think of committing suicide,why ? because of the way their wives talk to them (take note: these type of men are the gentle and easy- going types. the vocal onces do go violent,just to fight back the pain and suppression.)

.


Bishop/Pastor Henrimoto, l see your good work here, keep it up, will soon come to your church for counselling, you know l have so many queens in the UAE, so l need your good advice, so l can live long...lol.

o42austino: No, i stay In Enugu state

why i asked you this, was that,i thought we were both leaving in the same neigbourhood... this a typical lagos abusive women story. i begin to wonder, what happened during the courtship/dating days. weren't any iota of these negative traits noticed ? or was it over looked ? thinking that the heart will turn a new leaf for good.

switosman:

actually my position is not all encompassing, that one had such a past does not mean we should condole abuse from wives. I found out that these women do not even know they have a problem and so will not seek solution.
the other type have weak personality and will take all sort of wrong advise from evil people, coupled with female insecurity they will act out thier fear.
on my part, I married an abusive woman and I am managing to maintain peace. I set up boundaries and insist on them.

life must realy be hard for you.maybe if had the chance to do it again...

ogakpatakpata: .


Bishop/Pastor Henrimoto, l see your good work here, keep it up, will soon come to your church for counselling, you know l have so many queens in the UAE, so l need your good advice, so l can live long...lol.

haa! igweee! Bishop of "Encouragement Cathedral" is that you ? i greet oh. so you do reach this corner ? lolzzzz. hmnn... igwee! 'The Richest man is not the Happiest man,but He that has a Good wife is the Happiest man.

Two adults should know how to communicate with each other without bringing out the animatic behaviour in them.
The nagging wife, if you the husband cannot live with that, let her go! Simple. Throw her out of the house until she learns manners or leave the house for her. depending on the situation.

Hitting a woman or child is NOT acceptable. If you are greeted by a nagging co-worker who is 10x stronger than you, i bet you will use another method to settle dispute rather than signing your own death sentence by lifting your hands on him.

Every body have a respobsibility in the family, try and live up to yours.

This is not a gender thing! Its a war on doing the right thing! so much voilence in the society. even in the so called law enforcement.

*Signed, sealed, delivered*

Marriage is not for teenagers by age and behavious,it is for men and women.if you know you are not mentally,emotionally and physically strong to handle marriage,dont put your leg inside and if you are dating a girl that has a caustic mouth and doesnt know when to shut up,free her.there are some things love cannot handle or supress e.g verbal or physical abuse.lobatan

switosman:

actually my position is not all encompassing, that one had such a past does not mean we should condole abuse from wives. I found out that these women do not even know they have a problem and so will not seek solution.
the other type have weak personality and will take all sort of wrong advise from evil people, coupled with female insecurity they will act out thier fear.
on my part, I married an abusive woman and I am managing to maintain peace. I set up boundaries and insist on them.

That the way to go bros, let her know when she crosd the boundaries and make it clear to her that she has cross the line because i noticed that women dont know their limit and tends to over do things.

switosman:

I think your main purpose is to find solution or at least, to properly manage situation with our women. when I talk its from expereince, men should understand this abusive phenomenon and do the right thing. women caught in this web do not know their character is a pychological problem and so will not seek help.

Another problem, is when men lash back on them , they are termed beast.

I understand but, we men should let them know that they have crossed line because women don't know what is called limit. BUT THIS SHOULD NOT BE DONE BY BEATING THEM OOO

henrimoto: this is one main reason why a lot of gentle and quiet husbands die before their time these days.it is either high BP., fustration or what have you. i know a lot of married men that are not happy to come back home after the day's work. immidiately they are @ the entrance of street to their house, saddness,fear and anxiety come upon their heart. husbands that are vocal are being made to forcely bring out the violent part of them..... why? just because of this terrible abusive nature of some women. king solomon of blessed memories, did nt liar when he said "it is better for a man to leave on top of the roof of a house than to leave in the same house with a nagging wowan. (little did we know that he was talking from experience) a lot of men think of committing suicide,why ? because of the way their wives talk to them (take note: these type of men are the gentle and easy- going types. the vocal onces do go violent,just to fight back the pain and suppression.)

i total Agree with u here, The pain of an Abusive wife is so unbearable and thats what force's the vocal men to Attack them out of Anger. I WILL ADVICE OUR LADIES TO LEARN HOW TO TALK TO THEIR MAN, MEN LIKE THEIR WOMEN SAYING THEIR MIND BUT NOT RAIN INSULTS AND NAGGING IN PROCESS.

henrimoto: why i asked you this, was that,i thought we were both leaving in the same neigbourhood... this a typical lagos abusive women story. i begin to wonder, what happened during the courtship/dating days. weren't any iota of these negative traits noticed ? or was it over looked ? thinking that the heart will turn a new leaf for good.

my brother, women tends to hide a lot during courtship, they tends to treat u like a prince but change during marriage. I HV TO POINT IT OUT HERE THE LEVEL OUT ABUSE WOMEN MELT OUT TO THEIR MAN NOW IS TOO HIGH, I DON'T KNOW IF IT IS BECAUSE WE DON'T WANT OUTSIDER TO HERE OUR VIOCE OR WHAT?

henrimoto: haa! igweee! Bishop of "Encouragement Cathedral" is that you ? i greet oh. so you do reach this corner ? lolzzzz. hmnn... igwee! 'The Richest man is not the Happiest man,but He that has a Good wife is the Happiest man.

lolzzzzz i tells u ooo

Chillisauce: Two adults should know how to communicate with each other without bringing out the animatic behaviour in them.
The nagging wife, if you the husband cannot live with that, let her go! Simple. Throw her out of the house until she learns manners or leave the house for her. depending on the situation.

Hitting a woman or child is NOT acceptable. If you are greeted by a nagging co-worker who is 10x stronger than you, i bet you will use another method to settle dispute rather than signing your own death sentence by lifting your hands on him.

Every body have a respobsibility in the family, try and live up to yours.

This is not a gender thing! Its a war on doing the right thing! so much voilence in the society. even in the so called law enforcement.

*Signed, sealed, delivered*

ur on point but u should know that it is not easy to walk out when Children re involve, it is easy said then done.

kulyie: Marriage is not for teenagers by age and behavious,it is for men and women.if you know you are not mentally,emotionally and physically strong to handle marriage,dont put your leg inside and if you are dating a girl that has a caustic mouth and doesnt know when to shut up,free her.there are some things love cannot handle or supress e.g verbal or physical abuse.lobatan

u too correct

o42austino: ur on point but u should know that it is not easy to walk out when Children re involve, it is easy said then done.

its worse when the kids are brought up seeing the parents fighting everyday.
separate, and visit time to time, like that you can argue whatever you wanna argue and the kids dont have to witness that.

henrimoto: haa! igweee! Bishop of "Encouragement Cathedral" is that you ? i greet oh. so you do reach this corner ? lolzzzz. hmnn... igwee! 'The Richest man is not the Happiest man,but He that has a Good wife is the Happiest man.

.


Well said, couldn't have been said better.

Chillisauce:
its worse when the kids are brought up seeing the parents fighting everyday.
separate, and visit time to time, like that you can argue whatever you wanna argue and the kids dont have to witness that.

I don't Agree with u here oooo, separation and divorce looks d same when it comes to Child up bringing.Listen ooo, two mature Adults living under the same room will hv their differences but to tell me that they should stay in different houses, that i will not agree because it takes two adults(husban/wife) to raise a Child.

o42austino: I don't Agree with u here oooo, separation and divorce looks d same when it comes to Child up bringing.Listen ooo, two mature Adults living under the same room will hv their differences but to tell me that they should stay in different houses, that i will not agree because it takes two adults(husban/wife) to raise a Child.

what do you suggest? they keep fighting in their kids presence?
and they grow up doing the same. same cycle.
if they cant live peacefully together, they separate until they know what they want.

seperation is not the same as divorce

Chillisauce:

what do you suggest? they keep fighting in their kids presence?
and they grow up doing the same. same cycle.
if they cant live peacefully together, they separate until they know what they want.

seperation is not the same as divorce

It is not about the fighting my man, two Adults living together will hv their differences and their kids will always witness it cos all of them are living in d same house. The issue here to to Avoid the name calling while the disagreement is on. Wife should stop calling their husbands names which is a direct insult and using all the verbal Abusive weapons at their disposal. I love how my sis manages her home, she may start the disagreement but once she noticed that temper is high she will stop immediately to avoid her husband exchanging words with her and during the disagreement she will not use wired words Like u fool,stupid man, Idiot e.t.c she keeps her words clean and straight to the point and shut up immediately.

henrimoto: why i asked you this, was that,i thought we were both leaving in the same neigbourhood... this a typical lagos abusive women story. i begin to wonder, what happened during the courtship/dating days. weren't any iota of these negative traits noticed ? or was it over looked ? thinking that the heart will turn a new leaf for good.

These women are wily as the fox. No amount of courtship will make these wily ones reveal their true nature. They are very careful to hide their wicked and evil traits till the poor guy has put a ring on it only to find himself trapped in bondage.
Lots of men are abused physically,mentally and spiritually by beings they call wives. They are just too ashamed to voice it out or write about it for fear and shame of being refered to as wimps.

o42austino: It is not about the fighting my man, two Adults living together will hv their differences and their kids will always witness it cos all of them are living in d same house. The issue here to to Avoid the name calling while the disagreement is on. Wife should stop calling their husbands names which is a direct insult and using all the verbal Abusive weapons at their disposal. I love how my sis manages her home, she may start the disagreement but once she noticed that temper is high she will stop immediately to avoid her husband exchanging words with her and during the disagreement she will not use wired words Like u fool,stupid man, Idiot e.t.c she keeps her words clean and straight to the point and shut up immediately.

You are right, but what do you do when the woman keeps calling you names in your kids presence. hit her

Dantedasz:

These women are wily as the fox. No amount of courtship will make these wily ones reveal their true nature. They are very careful to hide their wicked and evil traits till the poor guy has put a ring on it only to find himself trapped in bondage.
Lots of men are abused physically,mentally and spiritually by beings they call wives. They are just too ashamed to voice it out or write about it for fear and shame of being refered to as wimps.

true talk brother, ur on point here.