I just want to have Ur views on this. Why do
people hold on to or continue to harbour this ill feelings when there's nothing to gain from it? I know I am extremely emotional so I sometimes take things to heart and but seriously I can't stand bearing grudges against someone, it keeps me uncomfortable anytime I remember that am not in talking terms with d person. It seems to me holding a grudge is more like to hate which takes energy and emotions,or as somewhere U are burying feelings or holding some energy and it prevents U frm really moving on. So my question is what do u think that actually make people to hold on to grudges for a long time??

They find it extremely difficult to let things go forever.
They need evaluation on/about successful life tips.

Adam-ic Nature

ChristineC: Adam-ic Nature

U mean it's in their nature to bear grudge?

Here's an amazing tip on how to lose weight and stay thin..............


HOLD A GRUDGE

Unionised: Here's an amazing tip on how to lose weight and stay thin..............


HOLD A GRUDGE

Hahahhahaha...Guy na to die be that naaa..Lmao. But seriously what do u think that actually make people to hold a grudge against someone, sometimes the person in question won't even know?

priscaoge:
Hahahhahaha...Guy na to die be that naaa..Lmao. But seriously what do u think that actually make people to hold a grudge against someone, sometimes the person in question won't even know?

I think its an accumulation of little "wrongs" committed by the person in question.

When their "CUP IS FULL", matters would escalate.

Then the 'COLD TREATMENT" begins.

Who go settle fight?........ first to blink.

HUMAN NATURE

I used to hold grudges a lot as a teenager...and the reasons where
- Pride: I don't like to apologise first. Makes me feel less...

-Unforgiving spirit: I had to do prayer and fasting to change this, I don't forgive easily then, even when I forgive - I won't forget...so I will keep reminding the person of his/her f**k up @ the slightest provocation.

-Revenge: I love revenge . Do Me-I do you...for this reason, I find it difficult to apologise and forgive, bc I would wanna hold the grudge, it would enable me carry out my revenge perfectly

I lost relationships and friends, though they all stuck around, after they understood it was ma person...
One day my elder bro bought me a book on anger management and co, I read it...prayed and it changed a lot.

Unionised:

I think its an accumulation of little "wrongs" committed by the person in question.

When their "CUP IS FULL", matters would escalate.

Then the 'COLD TREATMENT" begins.

Who go settle fight?........ first to blink.

HUMAN NATURE

You are right! The problem is letting d little wrongs to accumulate when u can actually let d person know that he/she wronged u. It all depends on individuals shaa...

Kachisbarbie: I used to hold grudges a lot as a teenager...and the reasons where
- Pride: I don't like to apologise first. Makes me feel less...

-Unforgiving spirit: I had to do prayer and fasting to change this, I don't forgive easily then, even when I forgive - I won't forget...so I will keep reminding the person of his/her f**k up @ the slightest provocation.

-Revenge: I love revenge . Do Me-I do you...for this reason, I find it difficult to apologise and forgive, bc I would wanna hold the grudge, it would enable me carry out my revenge perfectly

I lost relationships and friends, though they all stuck around, after they understood it was ma person...
One day my elder bro bought me a book on anger management and co, I read it...prayed and it changed a lot.

A lady doing fasting and prayer dats wonderful!!

Kachisbarbie: I used to hold grudges a lot as a teenager...and the reasons where
- Pride: I don't like to apologise first. Makes me feel less...

-Unforgiving spirit: I had to do prayer and fasting to change this, I don't forgive easily then, even when I forgive - I won't forget...so I will keep reminding the person of his/her f**k up @ the slightest provocation.

-Revenge: I love revenge . Do Me-I do you...for this reason, I find it difficult to apologise and forgive, bc I would wanna hold the grudge, it would enable me carry out my revenge perfectly

I lost relationships and friends, though they all stuck
around, after they understood it was ma person...
One day my elder bro bought me a book on anger management and co, I read it...prayed and it changed a lot.

do u happen to be a scorpio by zodiac?

Kachisbarbie: I used to hold grudges a lot as a teenager...and the reasons where
- Pride: I don't like to apologise first. Makes me feel less...

-Unforgiving spirit: I had to do prayer and fasting to change this, I don't forgive easily then, even when I forgive - I won't forget...so I will keep reminding the person of his/her f**k up @ the slightest provocation.

-Revenge: I love revenge . Do Me-I do you...for this reason, I find it difficult to apologise and forgive, bc I would wanna hold the grudge, it would enable me carry out my revenge perfectly

I lost relationships and friends, though they all stuck around, after they understood it was ma person...
One day my elder bro bought me a book on anger management and co, I read it...prayed and it changed a lot.

Hahahahahhahah U see wat am saying Lwkmd,Babe u won't kill me. About Forgiving someone,my dear it takes the grace of God to. U might say that u have forgiven d person,until d person steps on ur toe.

Because its human nature dat cannot be changed by will

priscaoge:
Hahahahahhahah U see wat am saying Lwkmd,Babe u won't kill me. About Forgiving someone,my dear it takes the grace of God to. U might say that u have forgiven d person,until d person steps on ur toe.

Hmmm but its possible not to get offended

@OP Go back to the romance section with your 'flat-battery' brain

Olusanya333: Hmmm but its possible not to get offended

It all depends on d context n ur approach!

traware: @OP Go back to the romance section with your 'flat-battery' brain

Please don't derail this thread with your insults. Thanks and have a nice evening.

priscaoge:
Hahahahahhahah U see wat am saying Lwkmd,Babe u won't kill me. About Forgiving someone,my dear it takes the grace of God to. U might say that u have forgiven d person,until d person steps on ur toe.

Truetalk o...I will say it's fine, we good...but anyday the person makes a small mistake, I would resurrect every.

@mutuwa : I really don't know about Zodiac signs, I was born in May...which one am I?

@Olusanya333:sometimes it's necessary o. Truetalk, it's possible not to get angry. These days I don't get angry, even if someone dey try vex me - I would get pissed, but not angry.

Kachisbarbie:
Truetalk o...I will say it's fine, we good...but anyday the person makes a small mistake, I would resurrect every.

@mutuwa : I really don't know about Zodiac signs, I was born in May...which one am I?

@Olusanya333:sometimes it's necessary o. Truetalk, it's possible not to get angry. These days I don't get angry, even if someone dey try vex me - I would get pissed, but not angry.

Lol..U are not alone on that my dear
About ur sign,what date in May?@Kachisbarbie

priscaoge:
Lol..U are not alone on that my dear
About ur sign,what date in May?@Kachisbarbie

May 11

Kachisbarbie:
May 11

#TeamTaurus We are d Bulls...U must be stubborn

priscaoge:
#TeamTaurus We are d Bulls...U must be stubborn

yels...my people say I'm stubborn...
But I say I'm strong-willed

Kachisbarbie:
yels...my people say I'm stubborn...
But I say I'm strong-willed

Taurans are stubborn but very kind n lovely people.But if u really piss them off it's pretty much over. They don't want to hear anything you have to say after that.. That's my sign,I read my stars everyday n it's amazing!

priscaoge:
It all depends on d context n ur approach!

Under every context its possible not to get angry. Believe me sweetie, Anger does not come unless d following happens
-You find fault
-Get provoke.
So if u stop the above u can't get angry.

Olusanya333: Under every context its possible not to get angry. Believe me sweetie, Anger does not come unless d following happens
-You find fault
-Get provoke.
So if u stop the above u can't get angry.

Yes Dear U are right!

Let me solve the puzzle in a man's way .It's natural if you bare grudges,not because you were born with it but for the fact that you are not exposed to anti-grudge activities such as recreation,relaxation,even laughter classes.It's not bad to bare grudges but it is bad to make it affect your relationship with the person(be diplomatic).
So,next time you feel you are bearing grudges that you feel you can't just do away with,don't kill yourself in trying to do away with it,just be diplomatic and never try to let it affect your relationship with the person.Just always keep faith and pray,maybe one day,the grudges will go and never to return.

Misogynist2014: Let me solve the puzzle in a man's way .It's natural if you bare grudges,not because you were born with it but for the fact that you are not exposed to anti-grudge activities such as recreation,relaxation,even laughter classes. It's not bad to bare grudges but it is bad to make it affect your relationship with the person(be diplomatic).
So,next time you feel you are bearing grudges that you feel you can't just do away with,don't kill yourself in trying to do away with it, just be diplomatic and never try to let it affect your relationship with the person.Just always keep faith and pray,maybe one day,the grudges will go and never to return.

@Bolded, I think once there is any grudge it will surely affect d relationship u have with d person. Is there anyway u can avoid it?

When someone does something truly wicked without any remorse?


Na to plot the person demise......



#revenge is sweet

priscaoge:
@Bolded, I think once there is any grudge it will surely affect d relationship u have with d person. Is there anyway u can avoid it?

Very simple! Whenever you both come face to face and need to talk to one another,feign a smile on your face in order not to make the person feel dejected(depending on how gruesome and bad ) the offense is.The real test comes when you are asked a favor which is very easy and convenient for you to do. E.g. Help me pass that cup, help me bring my child home when you go to school to pick yours.

These are actually very hard things to do expectially if the offense is very gruesome but I think 'to those WILLING,injury does not become.'

Misogynist2014: Very simple! Whenever you both come face to face and need to talk to one another,feign a smile on your face in order not to make the person feel dejected(depending on how gruesome and bad ) the offense is.The real test comes when you are asked a favor which is very easy and convenient for you to do. E.g. Help me pass that cup, help me bring my child home when you go to school to pick yours.

These are actually very hard things to do expectially if the offense is very gruesome but I think 'to those WILLING,injury does not become.'

OK I grab! Thanks. Was just wondering Y people harbour hates n grudge n still feel comfortable

TheBigUrban2: When someone does something truly wicked without any remorse?


Na to plot the person demise......



#revenge is sweet

Hahaahahahahah U get mind oooo . Demise worst naa

Keeping Grudge could be as a result of deep hurt and offence someone did against us intentionally or without knowing . It diminishes our joy aπϑ inhibits our relationship with others . We keep grudge because we choose not to overlook ,ignore the wrong the other person did against us . Letting go frees us . G-d commands, "You shall not hate your brother in your heart..." (Lev. 19:17)

To understand this crucial idea, let's look at the commandments which immediately follow it:

You shall rebuke your fellow
You shall not bear a sin because of him
You shall not take revenge
You shall not bear a grudge
You shall love your fellow as yourself.

Whom do we rebuke?
- The fellow who is doing wrong YET IS WISE ENOUGH to accept rebuke. We do not rebuke scoffers (Proverbs 9:.

How do we rebuke?
- Privately! We must not humiliate our fellows. ( "this is the meaning of "You shall not bear a sin because of him."
- Gently! Or the rebuke will not be heard.

What is revenge?
- Reuben asks Simon if he can borrow a hatchet. Simon says, "No."
- The next day Simon asks Reuben if he can borrow a sickle. Reuben says, "No, because you would not lend to me."

What is a grudge?
- Reuben asks Simon if he can borrow a hatchet. Simon says, "No."
- The next day Simon asks Reuben if he can borrow a sickle. Reuben says, "Yes, because I am not like you."

How do I love my fellow as myself?
- this is the fundamental rule of the G-d's word
- If we were unknowingly doing wrong, we'd want to be told, yet it is so hard for any of us to hear criticism.
- Great indeed is the person who can give rebuke so gentle that another person will hear it.