Incase most men didn’t see this answer. Learn from your fellow man to avoid stories that touch in the future.

Though I wonder why his wife had to tell him before he could understand her pains.

Men are just insensitive!

banmee:


That is not the reason. We as men tend to forget the amount of responsibility women/wives shoulder. Especially in this day and age. Our wives will cook, clean, and be expected to go to work as well. They are human. Not superheroes. I first noticed this after my first kid and I would tease my wife about not doing everything she used to do for me before and when we first got married. Manicure my nails, massage my back, etc. It got worse after my 2nd kid and I really began to have an issue with it. We got into a fight once and she made a remark about me not understanding how hard it's been for her but I was too angry to listen to anything and went to bed. Saner heads prevailed, so the next morning we had a long talk. She was like "dude, I cook, clean, take care of the kids, go to work and when I come back from work I still have to prep the kids for the next day. How romantic would you be if you had to do all that". Then it hit me. She needed help. Things changed tremendously after that. On my part, I became a master chef which reduced the cooking pressure on her and I helped her out on things around the house which freed up more time for us to do things together. We started working out together and going out more for no reason. You see, I'm married to a goddess and I love showing her off. I'm pretty sure I handled it right because we've been married for over 20 years but it feels like yesterday. I will highly advice you to take this approach when you get married.

nenyewrites:
Incase most men didn’t see this answer. Learn from your fellow man to avoid stories that touch in the future.

Though[b] I wonder why his wife had to tell him before he could understand her pains[/b].

Men are just insensitive!

Because I was young. But like life I learnt from my mistake. We've been living a life of bliss since then. That was 15 years ago. You on the other hand I doubt if you'll ever find that kind of bliss since you obviously missed the whole point of my write up. So calm down and read my initial post again and don't be so quick with your masturbating fingers to type rubbish.

Let me take a sit

banmee:


Because I was young. But like life I learnt from my mistake. We've been living a life of bliss since then. That was 15 years ago. You on the other hand I doubt if you'll ever find that kind of bliss since you obviously missed the whole point of my write up. So calm down and read my initial post again and don't be so quick with your masturbating fingers to type rubbish.

So I missed the whole point and I created a thread for it? Your wife is trying o. Women dey try!

My marriage is heaven on earth so take your negativity back to the pit of hell.

Some women do have high libido after child birth

banmee:


That is not the reason. We as men tend to forget the amount of responsibility women/wives shoulder. Especially in this day and age. Our wives will cook, clean, and be expected to go to work as well. They are human. Not superheroes. I first noticed this after my first kid and I would tease my wife about not doing everything she used to do for me before and when we first got married. Manicure my nails, massage my back, etc. It got worse after my 2nd kid and I really began to have an issue with it. We got into a fight once and she made a remark about me not understanding how hard it's been for her but I was too angry to listen to anything and went to bed. Saner heads prevailed, so the next morning we had a long talk. She was like "dude, I cook, clean, take care of the kids, go to work and when I come back from work I still have to prep the kids for the next day. How romantic would you be if you had to do all that". Then it hit me. She needed help. Things changed tremendously after that. On my part, I became a master chef which reduced the cooking pressure on her and I helped her out on things around the house which freed up more time for us to do things together. We started working out together and going out more for no reason. You see, I'm married to a goddess and I love showing her off. I'm pretty sure I handled it right because we've been married for over 20 years but it feels like yesterday. I will highly advice you to take this approach when you get married.

Helping your spouse handle stress goes a long way but the red part is important too. Bizme has suggested it too on the said thread, which he created, and I agree. It's important to prioritize quality time together where to date each other/do recreational activities together and give each other undivided attention. It's a challenge with children but it's feasible.

This is the whole truth whether or not some believe it.
Homechores/childcare is a very stressful thing.Add Being a working mum to it,the libido goes on holiday.

Nothing changed for me because my partner has been helpful right from day one.Once hes around I know my job is minimised. He doesn't wait to be asked. It doesn't make you less of a man even though I know some women might take advantage of it to belittle their man. see it as what you are doing for yourself.

The result. Na me dey rush him. why wont i when we retire happy and less stressed

LadySarah:
This is the whole truth whether or not some believe it.
Homechores/childcare is a very stressful thing.Add Being a working mum to it,the libido goes on holiday.

Nothing changed for me because my partner has been helpful right from day one.Once hes around I know my job is minimised. He doesn't wait to be asked.
The result. Na me dey rush him.

Enjoy yourself dear and keep appreciating your husband.

double post

Women use sex to buy love. Men use love to buy sex. Like any economic transaction each party is looking to find a bargain, i.e. spend the minimum amount of their currency to purchase the maximum amount of the service they need. So once women have gotten the man's commitment, they will thereafter spend as little sex as is necessary to keep him from straying to another market. Whereas, once a man has acquired the woman's sexual favours, he will spend the minimum amount of love and commitment to keep her from withholding them. The best solution is to marry more than one wife. Thereafter, they can share the sexual burden among themselves, and the man can pretend to love all of them equally and share a little of his attention among each of them; satisfying all parties involved.

By RisenPhoenix1 is the best answer, not this Simp of a response blaming domestic duties. Most homes even have maids these days so what da fckk are we talking about?

Arsenate:
Women use sex to buy love. Men use love to buy sex. Like any economic transaction each party is looking to find a bargain, i.e. spend the minimum amount of their currency to purchase the maximum amount of the service they need. So once women have gotten the man's commitment, they will thereafter spend as little sex as is necessary to keep him from straying to another market. Whereas, once a man has acquired the woman's sexual favours, he will spend the minimum amount of love and commitment to keep her from withholding them. The best solution is to marry more than one wife. Thereafter, they can share the sexual burden among themselves, and the man can pretend to love all of them equally and share a little of his attention among each of them; satisfying all parties involved.

By RisenPh.oenix1 is the best answer, not this Simp of a response blaming domestic duties. Most homes even have maids these days so what da fckk are we talking about?

Nonsense with ingredients. Who told you that women don't like sex?

Hathor5:


Nonsense with ingredients. Who told you that women don't like sex?

That's all you got from that write up?

Arsenate:

That's all you got from that write up?

This is the premise of your write-up and since it is wrong the rest is null and void.

Some women do have high libido after child birth

wahala for who marry in this generation, baby mama on point.

It's actually interesting reading through others' comments on the original thread in particular. I only wished I knew the marital status of the individuals suggesting certain dangerous ideas. It is sometimes dangerous listening to suggestions from unmarried individuals about how a marriage should be structured. Until you are married you don't know anything about marriage: it isn't just something you know by reading books or by watching others' marriage. My wife and I had known each other for nearly 7 years before marriage and yet I sometimes felt I had married a stranger... Not in bad way though.

In sincerity I have nothing against polygamy but to destroy your own wife emotionally just so you could have more sex seems too unwise for me. But then it depends on the wife we are talking about. Some of us our wife is literally our best partner at every single thing...home, business, friendship...etc.

Some of us have working wives, and not full housewives and I believe the most practical solution is to delegate house chores as much as possible. We have a house help at the moment and I have been on my wife's neck that we take a second help because I know house chores have increased; my wife is the one hesitating.

In any case, I have enjoyed your contributions and I only wish we could have more mature contributions from others on this beautiful forum.

Hathor5:


Helping your spouse handle stress goes a long way but the red part is important too. Bizme has suggested it too on the said thread, which he created, and I agree. It's important to prioritize quality time together where to date each other/do recreational activities together and give each other undivided attention. It's a challenge with children but it's feasible.

bizme:
It's actually interesting reading through others' comments on the original thread in particular. I only wished I knew the marital status of the individuals suggesting certain dangerous ideas. It is sometimes dangerous listening to suggestions from unmarried individuals about how a marriage should be structured. Until you are married you don't know anything about marriage: it isn't just something you know by reading books or by watching others' marriage. My wife and I had known each other for nearly 7 years before marriage and yet I sometimes felt I had married a stranger... Not in bad way though.

In sincerity I have nothing against polygamy but to destroy your own wife emotionally just so you could have more sex seems too unwise for me. But then it depends on the wife we are talking about. Some of us our wife is literally our best partner at every single thing...home, business, friendship...etc.

Some of us have working wives, and not full housewives and I believe the most practical solution is to delegate house chores as much as possible. We have a house help at the moment and I have been on my wife's neck that we take a second help because I know house chores have increased; my wife is the one hesitating.

In any case, I have enjoyed your contributions and I only wish we could have more mature contributions from others on this beautiful forum.

Some of the comments are not only immature but sick. And once you are the first to comment on a thread that hits front page people will like the comment no matter how stupid or sick because many people do not seem to think for themselves. Anyway, it's a free world so let everyone air the opinions. The wise ones will pick the appropriate pieces and the rest will create toxic marriages and families. It's not possible to save everyone. Village people are against it.

I enjoyed your contributions too. It's refreshing to read from people who know how to make their marriages work.

nenyewrites:
Incase most men didn’t see this answer. Learn from your fellow man to avoid stories that touch in the future.

Though I wonder why his wife had to tell him before he could understand her pains.

Men are just insensitive!

You created a thread to bash someone's real life experience

@Topic: considering the fact 62% of Nigerian wives are alleged to commit adultery, the proper question should be:

Why do Nigerian couples lose interest in themselves sexually after marriage?

bukatyne:


You created a thread to bash someone's real life experience

@Topic: considering the fact 62% of Nigerian wives are alleged to commit adultery, the proper question should be:

Why do Nigerian couples lose interest in themselves sexually after marriage?

what’s wrong with people on this forum?

bukatyne:


You created a thread to bash someone's real life experience

@Topic: considering the fact 62% of Nigerian wives are alleged to commit adultery, the proper question should be:

Why do Nigerian couples lose interest in themselves sexually after marriage?

Someone today quoted this post I made from 2018

raumdeuter:


For many women beyond the age of youthful fantasies, Sexx is usually in exchange for something whether its in exchange money, exchange for commitment, exchange for affection, etc . Its common to hear phrases like Your husband doesn't have a job to provide, then why should he expect sex? Or in this section a lot of those funny illiterate divorce stories from Igando court will read like My husband is not "taking care of me"(giving me money) so I stopped having sex with him

For men, sex is just sexx for the release. That's why 10 men can queue up in a brothel waiting to fucck just one girl and after that they move on not even wanting to know her name or what she looks like.

So in your number 1 question, There is usually a need from the other guy, maybe better sexx, money, better placed socially or something

For number 2, Since sexx is usually to bargain for something, the moment they don't see anything to gain from it, the incentive wanes unless they start feeling their husband might go out and probably divorce them then they step it up momentarily

You wont know how many married guys have given up on it, and having a sidechic is sometime just very inconvenient. You want to have sexx at 11pm so you have to get up drive to your side chic and drive back

https://www.nairaland.com/4436386/transactional-vs-validational-sex

nenyewrites:



what’s wrong with people on this forum?

Are you new here?

Better. All hands must be on deck to make sex worth the stress

mariahAngel:


Are you new here?

No, just wondering.

You’ve always been one of the sane voices on here

banmee:


Because I was young. But like life I learnt from my mistake.

cococandy:
You’ve always been one of the sane voices on here

I try but it's extremely exasperating trying to enlighten these block heads.

raumdeuter:


Someone today quoted this post I made from 2018



https://www.nairaland.com/4436386/transactional-vs-validational-sex

This my thread.

Dude resurrected it

Long time, happy new years.

meobizy:
Of recent I'm trying to wonder which platform has the most bored children, Nairaland or Twitter.

Are you excited?

Hathor5:


Some of the comments are not only immature but sick. And once you are the first to comment on a thread that hits front page people will like the comment no matter how stupid or sick because many people do not seem to think for themselves. Anyway, it's a free world so let everyone air the opinions. The wise ones will pick the appropriate pieces and the rest will create toxic marriages and families. It's not possible to save everyone. Village people are against it.

I enjoyed your contributions too. It's refreshing to read from people who know how to make their marriages work.

Some marriages are bound to fail.