Wickedfacts:
Where is her father in all this?

It should tell you the type of mum he has and who is as fault in the write up above.

My dear,

You know better, please don't side mother-in-laws, they will scatter the both of you.

ravensckar:
This right here is the first sign of immaturity!

What is wrong with today's men and immaturity?

You got a lady pregnant, you couldn't get her accommodation, you couldn't be there for her during that trying time. You conveniently moved her to your mum's place (The first sign of irresponsibility). Secondly, your mum reported your wife to you and you foolishly went to confront her (another sign of irresponsibility). Thirdly, from the way you described your wife's mum, it's obvious that you don't have a good relationship with her (another sign of immaturity). Last but not the least, you allowed your love for your mother to hinder you from becoming or playing the role of a good husband to your wife (the highest form of immaturity).

I say this and I'm standing on it, any man who doesn't know how to love both his wife and his mother equally does not deserve to be called a 'husband'. Both are important to the well-being and success of a man. The real problem starts when you try to place one above the other (albeit openly). Until men begin to apply common sense and diplomacy on issues like this, they will truly never experience the joy of marriage.

Well said, a woman that her husband left to remarry, the probability of her being a trouble maker is very high, most times since they can't keep there husband they had rather keep there son by ruining there marriages.

How can a reasonable man(that's if you are one), carry his wife and keep for his mum when he is not around, even when you are around it's not just going to work talk more of when you are not around.
How exactly are the both supposed to breed a good relationship?
What if your wife is an introvert?
Is relationship a must?
Have you heard from her too to know what is wrong?
Stay around for days with the two together and monitor the relationship both share and come back and tell us who is hostile to the other then you know where your answer lay.

Is too early....Commot for water before it swallows you....A word is enough for a wise..

Kswine:
Please what is this thing about mother in-law and daughter in-law that doesn’t make them get along?

Am in the middle an issue and don’t know how to proceed, let me tell you how it all started.

I’m the first born of my family, my father left us with my mom and marry another woman. To assist my mom I had to get a part time job while still in secondary school and this really affect my life.

Fast forward to 5 years ago I met my wife and we begin dating, during this time I won’t lie I saw some red flags about her family but was hoping things will change along the line. Her mom is a prophetess in a white garment church, she said my wife was her favorite in all her children. I didn’t count it because I see it as a normal thing for a mother to love her child endlessly.

To cut the long story short, last year my babe got pregnant and we decided to introduce both families and after that she will go stay with my mom for a while because am not always around and she need someone at home with her.

Now during this time mom do complain that she’s not free and do isolate herself from the rest of the family, on many occasion I’ll sit her down and we talk things out only for it to repeat itself.

On the second month of her stay with my mom I told her to go visit her mom maybe when she comes back things will be better, my wife got to her house and told her mom all sort of things and the next thing she and her mom started insulting my mom. All this thing happened around March this year and since then they have been begging because I told her nothing will make me marry her again.

Family meeting upon family meeting has been going on and at the end they want me to forgive her and bring her home which my mom insist.

Now I don’t want to look like a weak man because she and her family went too far by insulting someone I love and cherish and on the other hand I don’t want my daughter to grow up without a father figure in her life, so I don’t know what to do.

Please no insult

I laughed when I saw this, I had similar issue with my younger brother fiancee, she didn't just abused my mom but the whole family. Some ladies are really uncouth, we were going to show her the way out with her baby, but families intervene, church also intervened and we have to forgive and overlook her misbehavior and caution her to take dressing. She was sober and asked for forgiveness which we avail her and now She's doing better characterwise and attitude and everyone is happy again.

You see attimes you just need to sit down and think twice, there's always a receipt for every decision, so don't make your decision in a hurry.

Tokskob2008 post=119408784:
[b]For me o anything that makes my wife insults my mum then she automatically looses any atom of respect and love i have for her, [/b]I might forgive but can never forget it.

As long as your mum as forgiven them and insisted you bring her back then you should listen to her but your wife went too far by insulting her mother in-law, I'm sure if you were the one that did that to her mum she won't ever let it slide.

Bro no be only respect she go lose o....she go lose some teeths join I swr.
U insult the woman when born me na ambush I go set for am for night. I hardly let such slide I trust that demon in me

Kswine

Do not marry her. Cut your losses and run.

Next time, when you see red flags, run! (Read Proverbs 27:12) Next time, only have kids with your wife!

dmostcheerful:

Well said, a woman that her husband left to remarry, the probability of her being a trouble maker is very high, most times since they can't keep there husband they had rather keep there son by ruining there marriages.

The OP is definitely an overgrown kid that isn't fit for marriage. If not, he would have known that telling his wife to stay with his mum is a symptom of 'brain fault'. He clearly invited trouble into his own life, now, he has come online to cry wolf. Did you also notice how he profiled his mother in-law, obviously he's not in good terms with her.


Any man who marries a woman without providing her with her private accommodation has clearly robbed her peace of mind and comfort. A woman's matrimonial home is her comfort zone, hence no man should deny his wife of such. I'd rather rent a bamboo house and be living with my wife and kids alone than take them to my parents mansion. But you see nowadays men, most of them never even get sense, yet dem wan marry woman. Shior!

The OP is just too immature to read between lines. Your mum reported your wife to you that she insulted her, yet pleaded with you not to send her out. How ironic! If she truly wants peace between you two, she wouldn't report your wife to you even if your wife wrongs or offends her because she should know that it's a recipe for marital crisis.


Something happened about 5 years ago between my Uncle's wife and his mum. The old woman never reported the issue to her son, rather she just cut short her stay there and moved over to my dad's place. Her son probed and probed but couldn't ascertain why. It was after some years that my dad told him what happened and called them all to a roundtable to settle the issue. He cried and cried and apologized to his mum. The wife too realized her mistake and together they all made amends. Today nko, they are on good terms. You see the first thing a man needs to learn before entering marriage is maturity. I repeat, if you cannot love both your wife and mum equally without bias and prove to them both that you belong to them (without partiality) then you have no business being married. Better still, remain in your mother's house forever.

PS- I haven't even add children's love, loving your job, relationship with friends and buddies to the equation o. Now,do the Mathematics and tell me why marriage doesn't require God's grace, human wisdom, patience and understanding?

Make I just stop here for now.

CaptMarvel:
I laughed when I saw this, I had similar issue with my younger brother fiancee, she didn't just abused my mom but the whole family. Some ladies are really uncouth, we were going to show her the way out with her baby, but families intervene, church also intervened and we have to forgive and overlook her misbehavior and caution her to take dressing. She was sober and asked for forgiveness which we avail her and now She's doing better characterwise and attitude and everyone is happy again.

You see attimes you just need to sit down and think twice, there's always a receipt for every decision, so don't make your decision in a hurry.

Another voice of reasoning! Bros, more grace to you joor.

You see all of them immature boys screaming 'I'll kill any woman that insults my mum'. Yeye pikin dem wey never mature wey wan marry. Ask them if their own mama no quarrel with her own mother in-law. Quarrel between two women na him dem carry for head like Lapalapa. Funny enough, it's a normal thing for one's mum and wife to do small arm wrestling because both are fighting for control over the man. The mum still wants her son to remain loyal to her whilst the wife too want her husband to be loyal to her. Na the man suppose apply wisdom and know how to give everybody their dues. After all, your mama (not your wife) na him born you and na your wife (not your mama) go born pikin for you.


I've said it here and I'll repeat it again; 'If you still don't know how to navigate between your mum and your wife such that they can both live peacefully, then you have no business getting married'. I'm my mama's son and also my wife's 'baby'. I cannot count the number of times that my mum has quarrelled with my wife for calling me 'baby' in her presence until my dad intervened. He told my mum to look the other way because I'm now my wife's baby not hers. His analogy; I've stopped sucking my mum's breast but have now started sucking and will continue sucking my wife's own breast till death do us part. . My papa na correct OG.

Listen to your mom.

Anything that will make a daughter to insult her mother in-law is a no no, and the mama follow insult? Run from the family.

ravensckar:
You just sounded like someone who has a brain fault. Firstly, to refer to a lady whom he impregnated as a 'girlfriend' says a lot about your upbringing. Iwo omo irankiran yi! Besides, let's even assume the so-called lady allegedly insulted his mum, so sending her packing together with the pregnancy she's carrying is the best approach abi? He who pushed his wife to go and live with his mum, what exactly did he think will happen? They will become best of friends abi? It's like you're low on cerebral fuel! Oponu ayirada! Perhaps that was how your father sent your mum too packing that made her gave birth to you in a mental home. Alainironu!

I'm not sure you've reached marriagable age talk less of being married, hence, you won't be reasoning like someone who has a brain fault. I shouldn't waste my time exchanging words with someone who is probably still living with his parents and collecting money from subscription from them. What will such a child understand about marriage? Or your parents didn't teach you that beheading is not the solution to headache?

Go play with sand kid! The grown-ups are discussing about marriage!

Omo iran ki ran ni Iya ati Baba e
See stew pid advice
Make he go marry person wey dey insult him mama with her mother
U a simp man
it's okay to be soft not your kind of soft
Excuse all this thing wey U dey talk
if U see me in person
U go fear o
Aje!
Fear go catch U

verifiablefacts:
Have this at the back of your mind,no one would ever love you more than your mother.

Smiles...

The relationship between your mum and your wife if you eventually marry her will never be cordial. The environment created by such situations definitely affects the family with you always at the center. The choice is yours brother. Merry Christmas.

As a lady, my boyfriend insulting my parent is a red flag...
... Sometimes ago, my first boyfriend and i had issue and he started telling people that shebi my mom normally send him to deposit money in bank yet she cannot settle our quarrel so she should never ever call him for such again.

I heard from my friend but did not believe, mom heard from our neighbour and was angry. I was left with the choice of choosing love or respect for my mother

He apologize though but i feel if a boyfriend can talk that way, he may do the unexpected when we are married and we quarrel.

Kswine:
Please what is this thing about mother in-law and daughter in-law that doesn’t make them get along?

Am in the middle an issue and don’t know how to proceed, let me tell you how it all started.

I’m the first born of my family, my father left us with my mom and marry another woman. To assist my mom I had to get a part time job while still in secondary school and this really affect my life.

Fast forward to 5 years ago I met my wife and we begin dating, during this time I won’t lie I saw some red flags about her family but was hoping things will change along the line. Her mom is a prophetess in a white garment church, she said my wife was her favorite in all her children. I didn’t count it because I see it as a normal thing for a mother to love her child endlessly.

To cut the long story short, last year my babe got pregnant and we decided to introduce both families and after that she will go stay with my mom for a while because am not always around and she need someone at home with her.

Now during this time mom do complain that she’s not free and do isolate herself from the rest of the family, on many occasion I’ll sit her down and we talk things out only for it to repeat itself.

On the second month of her stay with my mom I told her to go visit her mom maybe when she comes back things will be better, my wife got to her house and told her mom all sort of things and the next thing she and her mom started insulting my mom. All this thing happened around March this year and since then they have been begging because I told her nothing will make me marry her again.

Family meeting upon family meeting has been going on and at the end they want me to forgive her and bring her home which my mom insist.

Now I don’t want to look like a weak man because she and her family went too far by insulting someone I love and cherish and on the other hand I don’t want my daughter to grow up without a father figure in her life, so I don’t know what to do.

Please no insult

I don't understand why you would think that forgiveness is a sign of weakness.

If your wife is truly repentant then you should take her back after all she is your wife.

But then you must get her to appreciate and understand how severe it is for her to insult your mother.

kazyhm:
What is the meaning of I don't want to look like a weak man ?

So is she and her mom a strong or weak women for what they did ?

Do what you gat to do and fvck off


The heading is misleading ........wife or pregnant galfriend ?

I know a tradition where once you brought a lady and she cooks for you and spends some nights you are considered married already

@Poster, please grow up

Nwanzemcares:
The relationship between your mum and your wife if you eventually marry her will never be cordial. The environment created by such situations definitely affects the family with you always at the center. The choice is yours brother. Merry Christmas.

But he might resent the mother if he abandons this girl and she is the one he wants.

You sent your pregnant fiancee to live with your mum and you expected there won't be issues? Seriously?

Maturity is not by age, when they say someone is a man it's not only by age or by finances it is also knowing what to do and how to do it.

ravensckar:
Another voice of reasoning! Bros, more grace to you joor.

You see all of them immature boys screaming 'I'll kill any woman that insults my mum'. Yeye pikin dem wey never mature wey wan marry. Ask them if their own mama no quarrel with her own mother in-law. Quarrel between two women na him dem carry for head like Lapalapa. Funny enough, it's a normal thing for one's mum and wife to do small arm wrestling because both are fighting for control over the man. The mum still wants her son to remain loyal to her whilst the wife too want her husband to be loyal to her. Na the man suppose apply wisdom and know how to give everybody their dues. After all, your mama (not your wife) na him born you and na your wife (not your mama) go born pikin for you.


I've said it here and I'll repeat it again; 'If you still don't know how to navigate between your mum and your wife such that they can both live peacefully, then you have no business getting married'. I'm my mama's son and also my wife's 'baby'. I cannot count the number of times that my mum has quarrelled with my wife for calling me 'baby' in her presence until my dad intervened. He told my mum to look the other way because I'm now my wife's baby not hers. His analogy; I've stopped sucking my mum's breast but have now started sucking and will continue sucking my wife's own breast till death do us part. . My papa na correct OG.

The bolded got be loooling

If you proceed in marrying her, your child will still grow up without a father figure in a matter of just few years.

"Eyes that will last for an old age will not emit pulses at toddle".

Don't listen to anyone that ask you to process with the marriage, it's a default and emotional advice. As a baby daddy you are very well considered bachelor. Hence you have all options unlike baby mamas.

You are lucky that you are yet to wife her. If you want you and your mom to see shege in life, go ahead and marry her. It will get worse in marriage. It never gets better. Your mom has suffered enough to be insulted by a prophetess and her uncouth daughter

Kswine:
Please what is this thing about mother in-law and daughter in-law that doesn’t make them get along?

Am in the middle an issue and don’t know how to proceed, let me tell you how it all started.

I’m the first born of my family, my father left us with my mom and marry another woman. To assist my mom I had to get a part time job while still in secondary school and this really affect my life.

Fast forward to 5 years ago I met my wife and we begin dating, during this time I won’t lie I saw some red flags about her family but was hoping things will change along the line. Her mom is a prophetess in a white garment church, she said my wife was her favorite in all her children. I didn’t count it because I see it as a normal thing for a mother to love her child endlessly.

To cut the long story short, last year my babe got pregnant and we decided to introduce both families and after that she will go stay with my mom for a while because am not always around and she need someone at home with her.

Now during this time mom do complain that she’s not free and do isolate herself from the rest of the family, on many occasion I’ll sit her down and we talk things out only for it to repeat itself.

On the second month of her stay with my mom I told her to go visit her mom maybe when she comes back things will be better, my wife got to her house and told her mom all sort of things and the next thing she and her mom started insulting my mom. All this thing happened around March this year and since then they have been begging because I told her nothing will make me marry her again.

Family meeting upon family meeting has been going on and at the end they want me to forgive her and bring her home which my mom insist.

Now I don’t want to look like a weak man because she and her family went too far by insulting someone I love and cherish and on the other hand I don’t want my daughter to grow up without a father figure in her life, so I don’t know what to do.

Please no insult

y don’t u get an apartment for your wife where it will b only her?

since13o:


Thank you for talking about this issue here.

You have saved a soul with this and I really appreciate you.

This is something I suspect I might face in future, but what I am wondering is if it makes sense to even try and navigate it when it starts or just end everything now.

No problem brother. Regarding what you are wondering...Well all I can say is prevention is usually better than cure. It's easier to uproot a plant than cut down a tree. Unless your woman is willing to change and your heart tells you that TRULY she will do that AND STICK TO IT. If not Hanty can remain your baby mama and should find a new husband.

Marriage is not by force.

Kswine:
Please what is this thing about mother in-law and daughter in-law that doesn’t make them get along?

Am in the middle an issue and don’t know how to proceed, let me tell you how it all started.

I’m the first born of my family, my father left us with my mom and marry another woman. To assist my mom I had to get a part time job while still in secondary school and this really affect my life.

Fast forward to 5 years ago I met my wife and we begin dating, during this time I won’t lie I saw some red flags about her family but was hoping things will change along the line. Her mom is a prophetess in a white garment church, she said my wife was her favorite in all her children. I didn’t count it because I see it as a normal thing for a mother to love her child endlessly.

To cut the long story short, last year my babe got pregnant and we decided to introduce both families and after that she will go stay with my mom for a while because am not always around and she need someone at home with her.

Now during this time mom do complain that she’s not free and do isolate herself from the rest of the family, on many occasion I’ll sit her down and we talk things out only for it to repeat itself.

On the second month of her stay with my mom I told her to go visit her mom maybe when she comes back things will be better, my wife got to her house and told her mom all sort of things and the next thing she and her mom started insulting my mom. All this thing happened around March this year and since then they have been begging because I told her nothing will make me marry her again.

Family meeting upon family meeting has been going on and at the end they want me to forgive her and bring her home which my mom insist.

Now I don’t want to look like a weak man because she and her family went too far by insulting someone I love and cherish and on the other hand I don’t want my daughter to grow up without a father figure in her life, so I don’t know what to do.

Please no insult

Say no to white garment beaches.

You miswaka for real