I'm the first son of 5 kids (2 boys, 3 girls), we have just our mum due to my dad passed earlier last year.
I'll be 21 by July but I've been shouldering my family for the past 1 year now. Honestly it's exhausting even as the money is there. Last year, my mum lost her job and thank God for the strike I focused on my job and was sending them enough money and also made sure they all lacked nothing.
My siblings way of reasoning is killing me honestly, not that they're feeling entitled to my funds just that they appreciate nothing, they behave childish and also waste a lot, seems they're really far from the reality facing us. Although my elder sis works but I still foot some of her bills, my immediate younger sis is in school and I partly sponsor her too, my lil bro doesn't just want to do anything reasonable even school, he's way brilliant and smarter than me but at 16 he just spends most of his time playing games and streaming it on his YouTube, he doesn't really ask for things maybe he's making some change there but I want him to get education with skills, at that age I've gotten admission developing my first website, the last child is super brilliant but very disrespectful, I just changed her school and I have big plans for her upon finishing secondary school.
Thing is I love my siblings so much and want them to be coordinated and successful, my mum is even tired, it's showing on her and the way she addresses certain issues in the house. When my dad was alive he provided for us very well even in sickness, although he didn't really like me because I'm too quiet, always in my space and hardly speak out but sometimes I pray he appears to me somehow so we'll discuss on these things, don't want to bother my Mother at all about these things and sadly I don't have anyone else to discuss with.
I'm away from them now in school facing my own issues with this final year stress but the thought of how my siblings can be successful is really bothering me.
I just want them to take charge, get serious and choose their part, I have always supported them and I'm willing to anytime...
How do I communicate this thing to them in a way they'll understand?

Steverolly:
I'm the first son of 5 kids (2 boys, 3 girls), we have just our mum due to my dad passed earlier last year.
I'll be 21 by July but I've been shouldering my family for the past 1 year now. Honestly it's exhausting even as the money is there. Last year, my mum lost her job and thank God for the strike I focused on my job and was sending them enough money and also made sure they all lacked nothing.
My siblings way of reasoning is killing me honestly, not that they're feeling entitled to my funds just that they appreciate nothing, they behave childish and also waste a lot, seems they're really far from the reality facing us. Although my elder sis works but I still foot some of her bills, my immediate younger sis is in school and I partly sponsor her too, my lil bro doesn't just want to do anything reasonable even school, he's way brilliant and smarter than me but at 16 he just spends most of his time playing games and streaming it on his YouTube, he doesn't really ask for things maybe he's making some change there but I want him to get education with skills, at that age I've gotten admission developing my first website, the last child is super brilliant but very disrespectful, I just changed her school and I have big plans for her upon finishing secondary school.
Thing is I love my siblings so much and want them to be coordinated and successful, my mum is even tired, it's showing on her and the way she addresses certain issues in the house. When my dad was alive he provided for us very well even in sickness, although he didn't really like me because I'm too quiet, always in my space and hardly speak out but sometimes I pray he appears to me somehow so we'll discuss on these things, don't want to bother my Mother at all about these things and sadly I don't have anyone else to discuss with.
I'm away from them now in school facing my own issues with this final year stress but the thought of how my siblings can be successful is really bothering me.
I just want them to take charge, get serious and choose their part, I have always supported them and I'm willing to anytime...
How do I communicate this thing to them in a way they'll understand?

I think you will have to visit them,, if possible and seat them all together and talk sense to them

If you don't put things straight, they will delay you yet they won't move

Meanwhile plan well for yourself as you are the pillar they have now and if you don't stand well

The whole structure will fall yet non of them will raise you up because they don't see raising you up as their priority

Talk with your mum on phone and ask her what she wants to do to support the family, discuss this with her and tell her you want the answer on a week's time

These are all part of the reasons you will be traveling to visit them

From the complain that you have made about them, if you don't have a strong ground on them, they will blame your wife for any issues they will have with you

Alaye do ur best and leave the rest for God


They will pick up as time goes on

frozen70:


I think you will have to visit them,, if possible and seat them all together and talk sense to them

If you don't put things straight, they will delay you yet they won't move

Meanwhile plan well for yourself as you are the pillar they have now and if you don't stand well

The whole structure will fall yet non of them will raise you up because they don't see raising you up as their priority

Talk with your mum on phone and ask her what she wants to do to support the family, discuss this with her and tell her you want the answer on a week's time

These are all part of the reasons you will be traveling to visit them

From the complain that you have made about them, if you don't have a strong ground on them, they will blame your wife for any issues they will have with you

I think the best time to have go see them was this festive season but I didn't travel because I had really important things to round up.
The next time I'll travel to them is after my grad, which is like in 3 months time.
I'll just probably be speaking with my mom about this, let me hear from her.

Steverolly:

I think the best time to have go see them was this festive season but I didn't travel because I had really important things to round up.
The next time I'll travel to them is after my grad, which is like in 3 months time.
I'll just probably be speaking with my mom about this, let me hear from her.

Alright naw, God will give you wisdom that you need

Steverolly:
I'm the first son of 5 kids (2 boys, 3 girls), we have just our mum due to my dad passed earlier last year.
I'll be 21 by July but I've been shouldering my family for the past 1 year now. Honestly it's exhausting even as the money is there. Last year, my mum lost her job and thank God for the strike I focused on my job and was sending them enough money and also made sure they all lacked nothing.
My siblings way of reasoning is killing me honestly, not that they're feeling entitled to my funds just that they appreciate nothing, they behave childish and also waste a lot, seems they're really far from the reality facing us. Although my elder sis works but I still foot some of her bills, my immediate younger sis is in school and I partly sponsor her too, my lil bro doesn't just want to do anything reasonable even school, he's way brilliant and smarter than me but at 16 he just spends most of his time playing games and streaming it on his YouTube, he doesn't really ask for things maybe he's making some change there but I want him to get education with skills, at that age I've gotten admission developing my first website, the last child is super brilliant but very disrespectful, I just changed her school and I have big plans for her upon finishing secondary school.
Thing is I love my siblings so much and want them to be coordinated and successful, my mum is even tired, it's showing on her and the way she addresses certain issues in the house. When my dad was alive he provided for us very well even in sickness, although he didn't really like me because I'm too quiet, always in my space and hardly speak out but sometimes I pray he appears to me somehow so we'll discuss on these things, don't want to bother my Mother at all about these things and sadly I don't have anyone else to discuss with.
I'm away from them now in school facing my own issues with this final year stress but the thought of how my siblings can be successful is really bothering me.
I just want them to take charge, get serious and choose their part, I have always supported them and I'm willing to anytime...
How do I communicate this thing to them in a way they'll understand?

First of all you doing a great job to pick the pieces and provide for the family

You said your father passed away last year, i see that the behaviour from your siblings has been there all along but you didnt notice much becoz you were not the sole provider now your respondibility has made you see the different characters etc


Their attiitude and behaviour will change, either by you addressing the negatives you see in them but becareful they will be resistance ad they question your authority

They will not change until you bone them and face your own life.

since13o:
They will not change until you bone them and face your own life.

Really?