My family is evil.

My siblings 2 male(older) and 1younger female and a male has hated me so much and did so many bad things that they now turn our mom against me.

If I should start telling you the evil they did to me it will take a lot of time but what I did was to cut myself from them so they will not harm me ...but to my surprise they have persuaded my mother that was on my side before to ditch me, she doesn't pick or call me again and I know it's the work of them.

But this is the question, is it possible to get married without involving them like will the lady I want to get married to and her family accept me without my own family when it's time for me to get married?.

Come go and settle with yr family before putting an innocent girl into what will make her regret ever marrying you.

ojun50:
Come go and settle with yr family before putting an innocent girl into what will make her regret ever marrying you.

how please? Can't I marry on my own? Are orphans not getting married?

You want to ditch your family and start a new family. understand the meaning of family first, before starting one.

My elder brother sold my late dad land without giving me kobo. When I confronted him he said he won't get me anything because am a bastard. He collect all the money from tenant in our father properties.

He does nothing for living than to feed on our father properties ( a Yoruba family)

I hate cheating and stood up against tyranny and this is the backlash am getting for it

Stenewiser:
You want to ditch your family and start a new family. understand the meaning of family first, before starting one.

can't I live without them? Are there not orphans?

teekay213:
My family is evil.

My siblings 2 male(older) and 1younger female and a male has hated me so much and did so many bad things that they now turn our mom against me.

If I should start telling you the evil they did to me it will take a lot of time but what I did was to cut myself from them so they will not harm me ...but to my surprise they have persuaded my mother that was on my side before to ditch me, she doesn't pick or call me again and I know it's the work of them.

But this is the question, is it possible to get married without involving them like will the lady I want to get married to and her family accept me without my own family when it's time for me to get married?.

your wife to be family members will be against that for good reasons

teekay213:
My family is evil.

My siblings 2 male(older) and 1younger female and a male has hated me so much and did so many bad things that they now turn our mom against me.

If I should start telling you the evil they did to me it will take a lot of time but what I did was to cut myself from them so they will not harm me ...but to my surprise they have persuaded my mother that was on my side before to ditch me, she doesn't pick or call me again and I know it's the work of them.

But this is the question, is it possible to get married without involving them like will the lady I want to get married to and her family accept me without my own family when it's time for me to get married?.

For the whole members of your family to be against you

Then you have an issue

Get a family friend to reconcile all of you

No woman or her family will accept marriage from you without the knowledge of your family and involvements

Pls go back to the drawing board

You can start with an introduction and show her family that you love her despite the fact that your family is not with you presently and take the marriage list and give them what they want,get a responsible extended family member and go along for the introduction, it's a gradual process, Dem no dey marry woman in a day, her love and your love is what counts,there are many couples that their families did not support to get married before later on they had to accept it.

Lol @ my family is evil"

First, you didn't tell us what you did that made them to hate you, so we know where and how to come in.

To your question. No. No responsible girl from a good home/family will agree to marry you without getting to know your family.

No responsible family will allow their daughter to marry a man without meeting the man's family first.
Who will they give consent to? You think marriage is just between you and the girl? No dear. It's between two families who must agree and consent to the union first before you can go ahead and perform the marriage rites. Even churches today will tell you to get the consent of both parents and do your traditional marriage first before you will be allowed to wed in church. Unless you want to go and pick a girl from the streets and wife her, which is not the best.

I'll advise you swallow your pride and go settle with your family. You don't need to like them now but so they can be there for you when it matters most. Who knows? You might end up liking them after the whole ceremony.

frozen70:


For the whole members of your family to be against you

Then you have an issue

Get a family friend to reconcile all of you

No woman or her family will accept marriage from you without the knowledge of your family and involvements

Pls go back to the drawing board

is it not possible for someone to be right in the midst of several people? My late dad always take my sides when he was alive main reason for this hate later my mum but he(the first son) won my mom over and other siblings though I still talk with my younger sister once in a while

frozen70:


For the whole members of your family to be against you

Then you have an issue

Get a family friend to reconcile all of you

No woman or her family will accept marriage from you without the knowledge of your family and involvements

Pls go back to the drawing board

come to think of it... they are ladies wishing they don't meet their mother-in-law alive or their husband family...how do you explain this

https://www.nairaland.com/7176065/how-share-rooms.A STORY TELLER

Emma2Seconds:
https://www.nairaland.com/7176065/how-share-rooms.A STORY TELLER

I'm not a storyteller,,,there are things you hear but want to know what other people will say to it.

Some people here may think you're the black sheep, but you may not be the bad one. Family members can rise against you, especially when you don't want to support their bad ways.

Like someone pointed out up there, what matters is the love between you and the girl. Get an elderly distant relative that understands what you're going through for the marital process.

If her family members wouldn't accept you because of the issue with your family members. Get her pregnant. I bet they wouldn't have any other choice than to accept you.

teekay213:
come to think of it... they are ladies wishing they don't meet their mother-in-law alive or their husband family...how do you explain this

He was specific about his entite family is so he has issues on his own

For the ladies that wishes they don't meet their mother in law

Same way her son's wife to be will wish same

So we are talking about different people in the family

teekay213:
is it not possible for someone to be right in the midst of several people? My late dad always take my sides when he was alive main reason for this hate later my mum but he(the first son) won my mom over and other siblings though I still talk with my younger sister once in a while

Am very sure you already know what to do

You can but some curses will be placed on you

teekay213:
My family is evil.

My siblings 2 male(older) and 1younger female and a male has hated me so much and did so many bad things that they now turn our mom against me.

If I should start telling you the evil they did to me it will take a lot of time but what I did was to cut myself from them so they will not harm me ...but to my surprise they have persuaded my mother that was on my side before to ditch me, she doesn't pick or call me again and I know it's the work of them.

But this is the question, is it possible to get married without involving them like will the lady I want to get married to and her family accept me without my own family when it's time for me to get married?.

Straight up answering the question, No. No reasonable lady or her family will accept you without your family if you decide to get married. However, if you were outside Nigeria, you can pull that off.

For a better understanding or rather advice, I think you should tell us the whole truth about what happened from there people can advise you.

I won't allow my sis to get married to someone whose whole family (not 1, not 2 but everybody in your family) is not in good terms with.
If it was 1 or 2 person's it would be been okay but this one is everyone which includes your mum... Nooo
Try and settle with them if not that your wife will not be at peace with them and the hate will continue to your children as well... Wat if you die Nii...
Try and get at most 3person by your side esp your mum. You can't win everybody

Travel out and use that as a cover up to marry without family present.

Of course, you can.

Benwallt:
You can but some curses will be placed on you

from whom...the first born got his wife out of wedlock

teekay213:
from whom...the first born got his wife out of wedlock

Your family members. You mean their union was lawless before it became lawful

Benwallt:
You can but some curses will be placed on you

Tf you saying?... you okay?

Can you have sex without your family? Your answer is the answer

OSDD:


Tf you saying?... you okay?

Very sound.

teekay213:
My elder brother sold my late dad land without giving me kobo. When I confronted him he said he won't get me anything because am a bastard. He collect all the money from tenant in our father properties.

He does nothing for living than to feed on our father properties ( a Yoruba family)

I hate cheating and stood up against tyranny and this is the backlash am getting for it

Only your Mom can tell if you are really a son of your father.



Beg her thoroughly, and get your maternal family to help you beg her to know your real father, maybe your elder brother heard a secret that he's using against you. Also, maybe he told the rest of your siblings and they are also getting money from him. That is why they are against you and your mother is too weak to stop them.


Do this before getting married.



Good luck.

teekay213:
come to think of it... they are ladies wishing they don't meet their mother-in-law alive or their husband family...how do you explain this

The ladies may want it, but their fathers and mother's will never give them in marriage to a man whose family they don't know.


Even if you're adopted, it's enough for them, like they told you earlier, without both families consent, proper marriage is not possible.


Sort out your family first.

In Nigeria, I doubt, even orphans have extended family members.

Saintmary:



Only your Mom can tell if you are really a son of your father.



Beg her thoroughly, and get your maternal family to help you beg her to know your real father, maybe your elder brother heard a secret that he's using against you. Also, maybe he told the rest of your siblings and they are also getting money from him. That is why they are against you and your mother is too weak to stop them.


Do this before getting married.



Good luck.

I'm definitely not a bastard,I look just like my dad... My mischievous brother said out of anger when I have for my own share of the property he sold.

My mom was on my side until he won her over ...I wish they did involve her,it will have been easy for me to go ahead with the wedding without him and others

teekay213:
I'm definitely not a bastard,I look just like my dad... My mischievous brother said out of anger when I have for my own share of the property he sold.

My mom was on my side until he won her over ...I wish they did involve her,it will have been easy for me to go ahead with the wedding without him and others

This is really sad, that siblings can turn on a person in such a manner.




But, you can definitely live well without them, even without your Mom.


Now, try and find your uncles and aunts and build a relationship with them, your Daddy's siblings can stand for you on your traditional wedding, they don't have to spend money, just to be present.



Drop the matter of collecting inheritance, but don't ever forget what they did or ever let them get close to you. Any sibling that can do this can kill you if they get the chance.


Best of luck.