aestake:

okay. Someone does heavy lifting as una dey call am, and you still want him to wash dishes.

Isn't most of the guys on thread whinning about the 'heavy lifting'?

Women say men provide FULLY and I would handle the rest; mbanu.

OK, let's peach in together in finance and chores; I am the head, I don't do chores.

Do you now see why it is said that when a woman makes money, she doesn't 'need' a man?

Abi why should a woman contribute financially in the home and do all the heavy lifting domestically?

Isn't that the very definition of a single mother?

NoToPile:


Somebody has said it finally. They didn't mention it in the 3 pages.


It is only bills Nairaland men want to split, they will never ever ever split chores. If chores and nurturing is just chores and not a big deal, then providing is just providing and also not a big deal. If it's not manly to be domesticated then it's not womanly to provide money Let everybody carry his/her cross and rest.


Ladies should stop falling for that scam, you will provide money , born pikin, nurture, do all the housework and all he does is provide money? Money you are already making?
Na Scam.

@bold:

😆 😂 😆 😂 😆 😂 😆 😂 😆 😂

Serious scam to to laye yi o si. That's why most men with this mentality start whinning when they lose their source of income that they are no longer relevant.

The question should be 'what was your relevance before?

If you loss or disappear and they cry the mandatory two minutes, would they miss you or would their lives go on without your replacement?

JapaPrince:
My mother had a career, worked, and earned a reasonable income, which she selflessly used to support our family. I appreciate this reality, and I am committed to not marrying someone who believes that a man should bear all the financial responsibilities within a family. In return, I am willing to share household duties, such as cleaning, washing, and cooking, and I promise never to be unfaithful. I understand that money is not the sole foundation of a successful marriage; we both contribute to our family's growth. I am not controlling and value her input. This is my perspective; any woman who expects a "baby girl treatment" is not the right match for me, and it's a matter of personal preference, not a judgment.

Now, this is someone who is thinking properly and has chosen a pattern he wants knowledgeably.

I am sure you would find the woman of your dreams.

bukatyne:


@bold:

😆 😂 😆 😂 😆 😂 😆 😂 😆 😂

Serious scam to to laye yi o si. That's why most men with this mentality start whinning when they lose their source of income that they are no longer relevant.

The question should be 'what was your relevance before?

If you loss or disappear and they cry the mandatory two minutes, would they miss you or would their lives go on without your replacement?

Honestly at bolded, the way they keep pushing that narrative which is one sided is concerning.

It's common sense if all you are providing is money why should someone provide money plus the other things.

Nature has shared the role and if there has to be an adjustment for whatever reason it has to be on both sides but iro oo, it's only the woman that must adjust to add making money to her own role, the man should keep making money only, what is he adding to the money making, you say it they keep quiet or they say kini big deal, well homemaking is not big deal blehbleh bleh and they can't survive 1 hour with 2 children under 5.


Women are already making money it's an indisputable fact let the NL men be useful for something else apart from making money if they want bills to be shared.


2nd bolded answer is Money only according to Nairalanders.

The 2nd scam that is being pushed by women these days is that it is when you share bills your husband will respect you, some have nicknamed it sense of responsibility I laugh when I read such posts as if they are not aware there are women who are even bread winners that being ridiculed, disrespected, beaten and cheated upon by the same man they sponsor.


All na scam.


Gbogbo wa la ma wa alright

NoToPile:


Honestly at bolded, the way they keep pushing that narrative which is one sided is concerning.

It's common sense if all you are providing is money why should someone provide money plus the other things.

Nature has shared the role and if there has to be an adjustment for whatever reason it has to be on both sides but iro oo, it's only the woman that must adjust to add making money to her own role, the man should keep making money only, what is he adding to the money making, you say it they keep quiet or they say kini big deal, well homemaking is not big deal blehbleh bleh and they can't survive 1 hour with 2 children under 5.


Women are already making money it's an indisputable fact let the NL men be useful for something else apart from making money if they want bills to be shared.


2nd bolded answer is Money only according to Nairalanders.

The 2nd scam that is being pushed by women these days is that it is when you share bills your husband will respect you, some have nicknamed it sense of responsibility I laugh when I read such posts as if they are not aware there are women who are even bread winners that being ridiculed, disrespected, beaten and cheated upon by the same man they sponsor.


All na scam.


Gbogbo wa la ma wa alright

Well, if one looks at it from the perspective of inputs in marriage, the woman will feel cheated if she has to do *all the house chores* while also sharing in the bills.

Abroad, the home responsibility is shared. In Nigeria, a man only calls for support because of the dwindling economy.

So, let's assume the woman only contributes about 5-20% of the shared responsibilities.

The man should be able to do an equivalent amount of house chores.

Also, when their children become adults, the chores will no longer be in their dictionary (except probably cooking).

So, an African woman should not believe because she contributed 5% of shared bills, house chores will be shared 50:50. Just my take.

bukatyne:


Isn't most of the guys on thread whinning about the 'heavy lifting'?

Women say men provide FULLY and I would handle the rest; mbanu.

OK, let's peach in together in finance and chores; I am the head, I don't do chores.

Do you now see why it is said that when a woman makes money, she doesn't 'need' a man?

Abi why should a woman contribute financially in the home and do all the heavy lifting domestically?

Isn't that the very definition of a single mother?

If women don't need men...good for them.

labake1:



A man's money is OUR money
A woman's money is HER money

Gen Z feminists are not to be taken seriously.

Chinamanda Adichie would be disappointed in them already.

Oluwomonext212:
Lol! Very possible in my country with low cost of rent and utility bills…. Even a woman living in western countries understand what it means to run the gas, water and electricity on daily basis, not to talk of rent or mortgage. So willingly she will support her man or rather find a millionaire hubby who is more than capable. Cuz u can’t be paying millions in a month and expect ur man to cover it all alone, even when u both make almost equal amount.

What is d name of your country with low cost of rent and Utility bills

tundebasic:
Well, if one looks at it from the perspective of inputs in marriage, the woman will feel cheated if she has to do *all the house chores* while also sharing in the bills.

Abroad, the home responsibility is shared. In Nigeria, a man only calls for support because of the dwindling economy.

So, let's assume the woman only contributes about 5-20% of the shared responsibilities.

The man should be able to do an equivalent amount of house chores.

Also, when their children become adults, the chores will no longer be in their dictionary (except probably cooking).

So, an African woman should not believe because she contributed 5% of shared bills, house chores will be shared 50:50. Just my take.

Oshey!!! see sharing formula in African marriage now.

We will all be alright last last.

Nigeria, I mean Nigeria sir/ma

Chidolalar:


What is d name of your country with low cost of rent and Utility bills

sulakishop:
50-50. We're equal

50:50 House chores
50:50 Cooking
50:50 Children care
50:50 Bills
Everybody will be alright.

Oluwomonext212:
Nigeria, I mean Nigeria sir/ma

But Nigeria is a shit hole country with high cost of living and useless currency with a peanut minimum wage that can't even feed a two year old child for one month. Or are just just being sarcastic

labake1:



I am a feminist but it depends on how you defined a feminist

Feminist? Stop deceiving yourself madam

Yea I got u ! But my point is, despite the low income and unstable economy, Nigeria remain one of the cheapest place to live for a low income man. This is the reason you find a man earning 80k a month and outrightly paying the rent, feeding and school fees, probably because the wife is jobless.

So is kinda funny when pastors or motivational say, don’t share the bills with your wife nonsense. U may decide not to share the bills if u are more than capable, but how many people can afford such life in UK US and other western countries, where rent is a thousand pounds and more than, depending on where u live and the space you need for ur family.

Back in Nigeria my wife was a fashion designer while I run haulage business, I never expected anything from her, I pay my bills up to kids school fees because I understood she earns little to what I earn. But reverse is the case here, my bill is up to 1.6M a month and I make just over 2M a month, while my wife earns close to mine. So would she sit back and watch me spend all my earnings on bills while she saves hers ? I hope you understand my point, that only a big man can take up the responsibilities alone in western world, but in Nigeria u may earn just 150k and all the problems rest on ur shoulders.

Chidolalar:


But Nigeria is a shit hole country with high cost of living and useless currency with a peanut minimum wage that can't even feed a two year old child for one month. Or are just just being sarcastic

💯 100%

sandygechy:

50:50 House chores
50:50 Cooking
50:50 Children care
50:50 Bills
Everybody will be alright.

BloomingDale:


Hope you also cook for yourself, do your laundry, clean your side of the house etc likewise she also cooks for herself, does her laundry etc, then you guys split the care of the children 50/50.

as a matter of fact, I do cook clean and care for our kid and that’s not because my wife pays some bills. I happen to live in my house too so I clean and do what I would do if I lived alone.

advanceDNA:
Equality..equality..until it's time for bills, una go start to dey quote bible .....
No be two hands God give everybody......abi ur husband get 4 hands and two heads?

Once money is involved ...u only want to be responsible for little or nothing...but when it's time to share property u want collect everything....

I agree with you. In this case, women are to complement what men bring to the table to make it complete. A man must provide for his family.

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Splitting bills with your partner can be a practical approach, promoting financial transparency and shared responsibility. It fosters a sense of equity and teamwork in managing expenses. However, communication and mutual agreement are key to avoiding conflicts. Utilizing a reliable money split app can streamline the process, ensuring fairness and accuracy in dividing expenses. Ultimately, it's about finding a system that works for both partners and strengthens their financial partnership while maintaining trust and respect in the relationship.

advanceDNA:



I and my future wife don't need ur feelings madam..keep ur pity and feelings for women that their husband treats like trash because they are nothing but a vaginà in their husband's house..
.I have a team playing babe thats not a parasite like many of u women...

Some of u Nigerian women are unbelievable Many of u are not married yet some of u already have mind set u will never be responsible for anything.... When it comes to chores too..that's how y'all keep lamenting...

See as you give her uppercut. Take am easy sha. Na woman

When it comes to bills, she is not equal. When it comes to splitting properties, she is equal. And to lots of women, this is a perfect deal that is fair.

It is men that have an entanglement with women that have such mentality I will blame.

Splitting bills ke?

I cannot relate o. Haha. Calculator marriage.

Well, each person's response stems from personal values. I believe in gender roles, so let everyone do what works for them. No one is superior to the other. Whatever works for your marriage.

labake1:
According to the UK nurse's statements, a man who is not capable of taking care of his family, shouldn't get married. I think this controversy started because of Kie kie's interview.
Bills splitting can be 50/50, 60/40, 70/30, I think all this depends on the financial strength of a man.

My opinion is, just like the nurse said, a man should be capable before getting married even if your wife will assist you, it should be little. A wife should help her husband out if he has financial challenges and husband that have financial challenges shouldn't just sit back and watch their wife do things. Try and do little things till you stand firm.

What's your opinion about splitting bills with your partner?

I have absolutely no misgivings about this. It's ok to split bills if it works for you. Some men do not want any assistance from the female. They need the bragging rights to keep their ego pumping. The woman can assist a man who doesn't have, he should not just be lazy and keep up with little things till he breaks even. That's the Koko.

advanceDNA:



I and my future wife don't need ur feelings madam..keep ur pity and feelings for women that their husband treats like trash because they are nothing but a vaginà in their husband's house..
.I have a team playing babe thats not a parasite like many of u women...

Some of u Nigerian women are unbelievable Many of u are not married yet some of u already have mind set u will never be responsible for anything.... When it comes to chores too..that's how y'all keep lamenting...

Since she helps you with bills, I hope you help her with childcare.

But I'm very certain that isn't the case.

labake1:
According to the UK nurse's statements, a man who is not capable of taking care of his family, shouldn't get married. I think this controversy started because of Kie kie's interview.
Bills splitting can be 50/50, 60/40, 70/30, I think all this depends on the financial strength of a man.

My opinion is, just like the nurse said, a man should be capable before getting married even if your wife will assist you, it should be little. A wife should help her husband out if he has financial challenges and husband that have financial challenges shouldn't just sit back and watch their wife do things. Try and do little things till you stand firm.

What's your opinion about splitting bills with your partner?

I am not splitting anything with a woman,I pay my bills and children's bills,that is why we hustle to make money as men,I don't care how much she makes,I truly don't care,why will I care,what is she making in the first place to split,if she wants to buy maggi or pants with her money that's is ok,but seriously I don't care

1Sharon:


Since she helps you with bills, I hope you help her with childcare.

But I'm very certain that isn't the case.

The way u women ask question is fvnny..is there anyone that doesnt help with the care of the kid under his own roof.....even if the wife is a full time house wife.??
This one even said she's certain......

advanceDNA:

The way u women ask question is fvnny..is there anyone that doesnt help with the care of the kid under his own roof.....even if the wife is a full time house wife.??
This one even said she's certain......

Helping once in a while doesn't count. If your wife is helping with bills and she handles childcare/ housework, then she is doing more than you.

You go to work, come back home and relax.

She goes to work, comes back home to cook and clean.

1Sharon:


Helping once in a while doesn't count. If your wife is helping with bills and she handles childcare/ housework, then she is doing more than you.

What exactly is ur gender doing more than the man that nature did not equip u to do in the first few months....the man does nature has furnished him to to do and also make money which doesn't come out naturally from breast nor produced by hormone....

U want ur husband to grow breàsts and alternate breast feeding before it will be equal.?? Or hold the child's leg while the child 's pampers is changed before it will be equal?

Y'all just like belittling and invalidating men's input in child care .... Shior

advanceDNA:


What exactly is ur gender doing more than the man that nature did not equip u to do in the first few months....the man does nature has furnished him to to do and also make money which doesn't come out naturally from breast nor produced by hormone....

U want ur husband to grow breàsts and alternate breast feeding before it will be equal.?? Or hold the child's leg while the child 's pampers is changed before it will be equal?

Y'all just like belittling and invalidating men's input in child care .... Shior

The thing is, you're not doing what nature has equipped you to do since you're splitting bills with your woman.

Your last paragraph shows you're oblivious about childcare. Ain't belittling and invalidating when you've already done that yourself.

Your woman is doing more than you.

advanceDNA:
Equality..equality..until it's time for bills, una go start to dey quote bible .....
No be two hands God give everybody......abi ur husband get 4 hands and two heads?

Once money is involved ...u only want to be responsible for little or nothing...but when it's time to share property u want collect everything....

Correct man! The hypocrisy with Ndi ifenemenisi ideology. With such mentality, it makes getting married hard except one has a clear cut strategy in searching for women who don't have such a mentality.

labake1:


A man's money is OUR money
A woman's money is HER money

You better marry a woman if you display this mentality in the abroad.

advanceDNA:


Let them all go and look for billionaires to marry and leave men that are managing and earning a decent living for themselves....

The day I read a female here say "why will I help my husband pay our child's school fees, did I force him to get me pregnant"..... That's when I knew some women are not meant for marriage.... Some don't just have the team-playing mentality even if they earn 300billion naira per day

Omo!

E get why I dey say modern day marriage setting does not benefit men EXCEPT in raising children in a two-parent household.