MarieSucre:


Kontinuu I hope you don't fall victim to a cheating spouse.

u never can really tell

TheNonce:







Your preaching to the choir as long as your trying to convince that child chiam! She's exhibiting the classic naija woman syndrome when it comes to marriage! For example..


"I'm married so I don't need to better myself or further my prospects since my husband has promised my siblings, folks and village people that I'm going to be well looked after by him and if I keep up my end of the bargain with the cooking, cleaning, _shagging and the kids then our utopian marriage is guaranteed"



Eventually women like her all learn the truth about marriage and relationships, either when they are in it or at this trial stage! Let her enjoy her Alice years for a little while until REALITY BITES! Lol.....

I don tire for her matta


[size=2pt] chiam?!? Who you be... You're an old friend I sense [/size]

RoadsAndGreen:
you don't even know the significance of your status "we are prisoners to our own desires"

what a shame

Na wa o. Is it you that want to reinterpret the meaning of my status for me.

Even if you wanna use it in this context, notice I used "prisoner" something negative not "kings to our desires". I am not glorifying these vices like you are, excusing them like you are or applauding them.

Pls stop supporting bad thing. May your spouse not cheat on you or give you an STD amen.

both parties are truly different" Men are from Mars, women are from Venus .

MarieSucre:


Na wa o. Is it you that want to reinterpret the meaning of my status for me.

Even if you wanna use it in this context, notice I used "prisoner" something negative not "kings to our desires". I am not glorifying these vices like you are, excusing them like you are or applauding them.

Pls stop supporting bad thing. May your spouse not cheat on you or give you an STD amen.

when did I say I support such? please that's enough.

nubian999:


R.I.P to English

I hope your dream career doesn't require you to write in English

Thanks Professor of English language, who you epp?

Serious case,and the girl never knew he is married, The guy is in a hot soup,he is not gonna come out clean..smh

AuroraB:
You are messed up. Did the husband complain? Did he give the excuse or you chose to hold brief for him albeit without pay? You can see men letting you know you got it wrong! Your mentality could be infectious! You are afraid of your husband marrying a second wife or what? I guess if he does... inukwa okwu

U are the messed up one.. Completely deranged..
Later you will come online with new moniker, telling stories that touch.
We know your type already.
Better manage your home well, If u are married.
Am not wrong.. U are wrong with your mentality.

RoadsAndGreen:
when did I say I support such? please that's enough.

Here
" because you women are able to abstain does that mean a
man must be able to stay abstained?"

After this line you said
" people have different needs and yes sex is food. it's even
sweeter that jollof rice. like it or not.
you pray against the devil but you must not give chance for
temptations."

Does that not look an "EXCUSE" to you?

in other news, hello everyone, today is my birthday and please dash me 20 likes to appreciate my birthday...thanks

Amelian:





Am not betraying my Brain.. My brain is intact and working very well.. Better than yours I will say.. And babes am not representing you ooo.... This is a public forum where everyone air their views.. Say yours, if u have anything UPSTAIRS in that brain of yours, try contribute to what the op mentioned above .. And stop quoting me..
Am not your boyfriend nor your husband.

Capish?

I totally agree with him, you are an airhead, a bimbo for that comment, asking what will a lady do with a Masters or PhD.......

The really sad aspect is that no one has told his wife. Everyone in his circle knows he is cheating and no one has really challenged him. And when they do see his wife they will smile and behave as if all is well. The girl knows he is married I am confident about that. Some women choose to ignore that and hope that they will replace the wife. It might work but what they don't realise is that the vacancy of side piece is vacant. Do the decent thing if you are really a true friend.

tintingz:
How do you know he's not cheating before the wife traveled? Because the OP didn't mention that doesn't mean he has not been cheating before she traveled. The difference is it was not obvious until she traveled.

Again you can't change a man's sexual life.

If he lacks self control, monitoring or being present will not even change anything especially in Africa where men get away with anything.

What is the point of the speculation? He may or may not have. That takes us neither here nor there.

What we can deal with are the facts presented by the OP, based on which i arrived at my conclusion. To manufacture other facts to defend a particular position means you are already prejudiced.

uzolexis:


I totally agree with him, you are an airhead, a bimbo for that comment, asking what will a lady do with a Masters or PhD.......

U have fish brain.. And as the years go by, I know it will turn into dusts.. I pity women like you.. What a waste..

MarieSucre:


Here
" because you women are able to abstain does that mean a
man must be able to stay abstained?"

After this line you said
" people have different needs and yes sex is food. it's even
sweeter that jollof rice. like it or not.
you pray against the devil but you must not give chance for
temptations."

Does that not look an "EXCUSE" to you?

how does that mean I support what the man did? how many times have I told you both of them are wrong?

those are only variables that presents loop holes. babe you need to think smartly.

you have a bad or no knowledge of human psychology. obviously. meanwhile, you are too rigid for my liking. people like you are too stubborn.

Its a pity we have foolish people everywhere......home breakers and foolish men

Amelian:




U have fish brain.. And as the years go by, I know it will turn into dusts.. I pity women like you.. What a waste..

pity yourself not me cos you made the dumbest comment of the century, asking what a woman wants to use Masters and PhD for. I still can't believe I read that on this forum.

Amelian:






Am not hating anyone.. Have made a mark on my own through God's grace.. And anybody can have PhD. Simply read below:
And tell. Me who her PHD epp?

Am living my career dreams already. U know why? Cause I started early in life, focused on my studies , graduated from the University in an early age, went straight into entrepreneurship, I own 2 companies, no be brag... I made my First million at age 27years old and have set up women both single and married to be entrepreneurs and self independent.. God knows have made an impact in this world, cause most of. My proteges are all over the world, doing what I taught them, and they are making it.. Am here, am. Humble , because this is who I am.. I don't live fake life, or carry my achievements on. My head.. Everything have achieved so far is by God's grace..
And am single but dating a loving man who admires me in every way. And also guess what ?

am just 31years old
Living my career dreams.

I was/am completely done with reacting to your posts......
...but, I have to correct a very erroneous comment of yours @ anyone can have a PHD
This is not true darling, and you know it....or do you not know this?

To get a PHD....(and we will use one gotten from a school in the UK/US/Canada/Australia /Eurozone here cos we sense that the lady in the OP left Nigeria for her education)
One, one has to have a good or at least above average undergraduate degree first...then a master's degree
Getting these requires a high level of hardwork, concentration/focus, money and or visa eligibility, depending on whether the degrees were obtained in Nigeria or outside of it

Then this- I know someone who graduated and has been working as a medical doctor from/in a top ranked Nigerian medical school. They decided to get a masters' degree recently....and wanted into a " world top 100" ....that education (tuition and board) cost just short of 30,000 GP...for one year of education..and bla bla bla.

If they wanted to get a PHD.....that would mean at least an extra 20,000GP times 3....money wise
This crazy high figure (cash payment of course) pales in significance to. the extra-high level of focus and commitment needed to get this PHD...are you getting a feel of how tough this degree is now?
Okay forget the cash payment, supposing the person had a partial or full scholarship from getting maybe a distinction or merit or other high achievement (academic or otherwise)? Imagine the top levels of dedication, hardwork, brain power, luck, etc needed to best other candidates looking for same scholarship?
This is the same for degrees gotten in Nigeria too..requires a lot of time, effort and money to achieve..

My point is that seriously, it is not true that "anyone" can get a PHD
It is not beans
And it "epp" people a lot......just one degree above an MBBS or other degree may be the required edge needed to get that NGO, development agency job/contract....then a PHD just means more and more opportunities, jobs, fellowships, etc..and even if one stayed unemployed afterwards....nothing can beat that focus, hardwork, fulfillment, self development and actualisation... and achievement inherent in a PHD, true story...

To the other (main) parts of your post, I say ......good for you, but, please dear-ness, do not ever run down a PHD, or even any postgraduate degree for that matter.....they might be way out of our leagues
Thanks

SmartyPants:


Lol alright we can agree to disagree then. But let me restate that i do not endorse cheating.

It is vile and a sin before God and man.

We are finally on the same page then

Gaggi:
My Friend Is Putting Me In A Tight Situation

My very close colleague and friend and I work in the same office. He relocated his family out of town almost a year ago, the wife traveled for further studies. He has a lovely wife, really good woman and two lovely kids. I also live with my family. We used to visit each other and our kids played together while they were around.

The issue now is he now keeps a steady girl. The girl cannot hold a light close to anywhere near his wife. The wife beats her in terms of beauty, class, intelligence, fashion, attitude, just name it.

At first i didn't talk when i saw them together. Felt it was a casual fling, he probably was lonely and needed a little company. However, he now takes her everywhere, friends houses, colleagues parties etc. I have warned him severally but he keeps telling me he'll look for the right time to let her go. He's been saying this for more than 6 months now. He even confessed that they do have unprotected sex occasionally, especially when they are both drunk and she has said she'll kill him and kill herself if he leaves her for another girl.

I hate to see my friend destroy a beautiful family. I don't know what to do to save him. I don't have his wife's number, even if i did, telling her might result to breaking the marriage instead of saving it. For now, all i do is just pray for him. Anybody with any brilliant ideas?

Just two questions please. Where does your friend stay and which car does he drive. I know my reasons for asking

RoadsAndGreen:
how does that mean I support what the man did? how many times have I told you both of them are wrong?

those are only variables that presents loop holes. babe you need to think smartly.

you have a bad or no knowledge of human psychology. obviously. meanwhile, you are too rigid for my liking. people like you are too stubborn.

One of them's wrong will bring a better paying job for the family later. The others wrong will bring STD, a broken home and death. You be the judge?

I am not rigid. I have seen first hand the effects of infidelity. Marriage is endurance. A friend of mine works at the Heart to Heart Center at our General Hospital. This is where people come for HIV and AIDS counselling among other related things. Ofcourse that is not to mean one endures physical or verbal abuse. Like a physically abusive spouse or a nagging wife. But this? Come one!

So as I said earlier, you be the judge.

I'm done.

Gaggi:
My Friend Is Putting Me In A Tight Situation

My very close colleague and friend and I work in the same office. He relocated his family out of town almost a year ago, the wife traveled for further studies. He has a lovely wife, really good woman and two lovely kids. I also live with my family. We used to visit each other and our kids played together while they were around.

The issue now is he now keeps a steady girl. The girl cannot hold a light close to anywhere near his wife. The wife beats her in terms of beauty, class, intelligence, fashion, attitude, just name it.

At first i didn't talk when i saw them together. Felt it was a casual fling, he probably was lonely and needed a little company. However, he now takes her everywhere, friends houses, colleagues parties etc. I have warned him severally but he keeps telling me he'll look for the right time to let her go. He's been saying this for more than 6 months now. He even confessed that they do have unprotected sex occasionally, especially when they are both drunk and she has said she'll kill him and kill herself if he leaves her for another girl.

I hate to see my friend destroy a beautiful family. I don't know what to do to save him. I don't have his wife's number, even if i did, telling her might result to breaking the marriage instead of saving it. For now, all i do is just pray for him. Anybody with any brilliant ideas?

Talk to him, Man to Man. If he feels trapped then he should find time to be with his family if he can afford it. And confess there (gives him a chance to see what he might lose). When he comes back, if they, the family have decided to work things out he should man up a severe all ties with her. Make sure you are there when he does so if anything happens to him you can stand as a witness.

Mind your business, pal. You don't know what and who the wife is doing.

Amelian:
It's a pity, some married women are like that... They will leave their husband, travel abroad for further studies and I usually ask, this PHD or masters u are going for? Please enlighten me, what do u intend to do with it? They will say they just want to have higher degrees.
I shake head for those wives.. Later they will start crying wolf, saying can u imagine her husband has married another woman.. May the almighty God give them sense to see the havoc they are creating in their homes.

Op, your friend is lonely. And even if the wife travels with the next flight back home to fight her husband. Cos He is the only person she can fight for now.. After telling her sorry dear, with sweet words and she travels back.. He will still go back to his girlfriend.. And the girlfriend is determined to be his wife.. So my dear, the situation is messy already.

Amelia Amelia! Aren't you such a damsel? You already made excuse for the SOB in question ba? Remember o, your bobo is already hot, even if he no chase dem go chase am. Na then me sef go follow blame you for his escapes

MarieSucre:


One of them's wrong will bring a better paying job for the family later. The others wrong will bring STD, a broken home and death. You be the judge?

I am not rigid. I have seen first hand the effects of infidelity. Marriage is endurance. A friend of mine works at the Heart to Heart Center at our General Hospital. This is where people come for HIV and AIDS counselling among other related things. Ofcourse that is not to mean one endures physical or verbal abuse. Like a physically abusive spouse or a nagging wife. But this? Come one!

So as I said earlier, you be the judge.

I'm done.

I told you earlier about scale of preference.

scale of preference means a list of needs lined up according to level of importance.

in life priorities are different. you need to choose which one comes first and as husband and wife, keeping the family should be the top priority. what happened to schooling in Nigeria? are our institutions that bad? if such courses are not obtainable in Nigeria then how do you intend to use it in Nigeria?

Prevention is better than cure.... not everyone will cheat in such situation but this situation presents loop holes. humans are diverse in nature.

am done with you too

This thread is a clear case of modern marriage versus traditional marriage.
My conclusion 99% of the people on this thread don't know anything about men, women the human body in relation to marriage.
What most men want most times is not sex but feminine touch, the male body craves for it especially after alcohol. A woman usually has no qualms falling asleep once their back touches the bed. A mans anatomy is different. May we never be in a situation where we are tempted beyond our capacity.

Amelian:


Gun for it when you are single as a lady.. Not when you are married... Smhhh

And this person is a woman?

May God save us!!

Amelian:



U are the messed up one.. Completely deranged..
Later you will come online with new moniker, telling stories that touch.
We know your type already.
Better manage your home well, If u are married.
Am not wrong.. U are wrong with your mentality.

Come online to get advice from you naa
Fear catch me
Buzz off already

Amelian:
It's a pity, some married women are like that... They will leave their husband, travel abroad for further studies and I usually ask, this PHD or masters u are going for? Please enlighten me, what do u intend to do with it? They will say they just want to have higher degrees.
I shake head for those wives.. Later they will start crying wolf, saying can u imagine her husband has married another woman.. May the almighty God give them sense to see the havoc they are creating in their homes.

Op, your friend is lonely. And even if the wife travels with the next flight back home to fight her husband. Cos He is the only person she can fight for now.. After telling her sorry dear, with sweet words and she travels back.. He will still go back to his girlfriend.. And the girlfriend is determined to be his wife.. So my dear, the situation is messy already.

If it's the husband that traveled for further studies, you won't say the same thing. Double standards. It's always the woman's fault. Oshisco.

ElsonMorali:
I'm sorry but your friend is a goat.

I agree totally with Amelian.

What foolish woman would abandon her family and kids and go for one yeye Masters outside the country.

Which kain rubbish be dis?

When her marriage packs up let her replace her marriage certificate with her Masters certificate now.

Nonsense.

Reminds me of a woman I used to know, somewhat a family friend.

Despite that the kids were all grown and some working, she got a visa to go work in one of these gulf countries. She got permission from her husband and she left.

She'd come home once in a year or once in two years or so.

The last time she came home, she was confronted with the sight of a very young girl carrying her husband's baby in her arms.

Those attacking Amelian for speaking the truth, I'm not so sure you guys have a working brain.

OP, just send an anonymous SMS to her that her husband has impregnated a girl who is expecting twins, put the name of the girl join, and watch her rush down with immediate alacrity.

Then distance yourself from that family until they put their house in order o.

You people like talking off point. How is your 'example' the same, or even similar to the OP's post?

This woman did not relocate for and indefinite amount of time. She only went for a 1 or at most 2 year course. What if she were lying critically ill in the hospital or for some reason unable to have sex with her husband for a long while, does that justify him cheating on her without using any sort of discretion

[color=#006600][/color]

DarkRebel101:


If a man cannot hold out on sex for six months or for one year while his wife is away on studies, then maybe such a man shouldn't be married in the first place. If the worse meets the insufferable worse, couldn't he have wankëd his way out of his sexual conundrum?

...

I believe relationships are about sacrifices, not conveniences. And I'm certain that were the situation in inverse, and were the man the one absent due to his academic pursuits, there wouldn't be as much cöck-a-doodle-doo; and if the woman were to tumble beneath the sheets with another man while her husband was chasing his PhD and whatnot, he wouldn't be blamed for her fickleness. I guess that's where gender bias comes into the picture.

I just don't understand why marriages are made to look like concentration camps where one's life aspirations and dreams must be shunted aside to make allowances for the marriage.

If the two parties involved can reconcile their differences and make concessions and reach compromises, I believe the marriage would run 90 minutes without a red card being flashed by either one of the partners.

Guy let us be honest with ourselves.
Can a hot blooded African man that is not sick or ill stay 6 months without sex ?

Amelian:


U have fish brain.. And as the years go by, I know it will turn into dusts.. I pity women like you.. What a waste..

What advice will you give the woman in this page?

https://www.nairaland.com/3463401/hubby-asking-girlfriend-nudes

Shebi it's also her fault her hubby is asking other women for nudes? Maybe she needs to start giving him nudes to make him stop 'hungrying' for nudes